So last Saturday, I’m at Best Friend’s house. She made me a yummy dinner of fish, squash, and spinach. We ate and chatted, and then about ten minutes after dinner we were sitting up close and personal (in front of her computer, don’t think weird thoughts), when she announced “You have spinach in your teeth.” We spent the typical few minutes of her trying to explain which tooth, while I tried to pick it out with my short nails, and her telling me no, I hadn’t gotten it yet. I finally went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, spotted the green nemesis , but could not get it out because it was wedged in so deeply. I searched desperately for floss, and then threw my hands up and announced, “It’s not going any where so you’re going to have to stare at it for the rest of the night.” To which she didn’t respond (because she didn’t hear me, her hearing is a whole other topical that will spawn lots of funny stories unless she comments on this that she’ll kick my ass if I make fun of her hearing)
Now tonight, I went out with one of my closest guy friends. He’s going through one of the toughest times in his life, but that’s his story to share not mine, so let’s cut straight to the point of this blog entry. We went out to eat. He hadn’t eaten all day, perhaps, not in three days, but he had a lot to talk about, and believe it or not, I kept my mouth shut and listened.
Recently I took a weekend seminar about men & women and how they communicate differently, so I knew to stay quiet while he talked, and even when there were silent moments to keep quiet and he’d talk some more, which he did. However, I was instructed not to interrupt for any reason, so I wouldn’t take a bite of my food until he took a bite of his. Eventually, I finished my bun-less burger and red quinoa… any idea where I’m going with this? If you’ve eaten quinoa, you do. I felt a little bit of quinoa in my teeth so, I sloshed some water around in my mouth to get it out. This can be done with long-time guy friends, but is a no-no on dates.
He continued to talk for an hour or so and then I went home… and entered my bathroom… so I could wash my face and brush my teeth. MY TEETH that were covered in RED quinoa. Literally every other tooth had two morsels of the grain jam packed in there. He hadn’t said a word! And I have a smile like Geena Davis. I mean, when I smile my teeth are so big and my lips curl up over my gums so everything shows! How did he talk to me for over an hour with all of that quinoa in my teeth?!?!? I was too distracted to wash my face. I had to go out of order and brush my teeth first and then wash my face.
I know I’ll have more differences to share in the future, but difference #1 between guy friends and girlfriends is: Guys don’t tell you when there’s food in your teeth!