RCG’s Glossary

1. Vajooge (pronounced vah-juh-ge)- it’s how the girls who refer to Target as Tar-jaay refer to their vaginas.

2. Poo-ge (pronounced poo- j-ay.. if it were French it would be spelled poujer. Well we get vajooge, the guy’s need a sexy name and penis just isn’t it…

3. Money Line– AKA: love line, moneymaker, Marky’s mark, the Michelangelo muscle, but you might know it as the twin cords of ligament stemming from the hip that directs our attention where it will do the most good.

4. Vajazzling– Having rhinestones glued to your newly waxed, bald vagina

5. Macqyveresque — the uncanny ability to get a little somethin’ somethin’ and more without anyone suspecting otherwise and no obligatory sleepovers (thank you to Sommelier’s magic pen for coining that phrase)

6. Friend With Benefits– someone whom you’ve been friends with and now circumstances are such that you can hook up, but both are clear that the intention is NOT to have a relationship. You can go out to eat and do social things with your FWB because you BOTH know that it’s not going to turn into more… that is until it turns into more which means that one of the two of you are going to get hurt. Which is why the better option is always the:

7. Service Man– A grown man (in other words your age give or take a year or two or older) who you don’t know well, don’t intend to know well, who will “service you” when service is required, as a plumber would service your leaky faucet, as an electrician would service your fuse box, as a washing machine repairman would get your spin cycle going. The service man NEVER EVER gets sleep-overs. Would you invite the cable installer to sleep over because he gave turned on your HBO? No deep conversations, no meals, no showers unless it’s sexually necessary.

OR

8. The Boy Toy– if you’re in your 20’s he must be at least 5 years younger, 30’s 8 years younger, 40’s and up at least a decade younger. He is either dumb or angry and is hot as hell. He is used for the great body that he still has because his metabolism hasn’t slowed down yet so he still has a money line, and like the service man… it doesn’t leave the bedroom (or any other room that involves some sort of sexual act). Boy Toys never tend to last more than 4 months as they tend to fall in love with the sex and mistake it for being in love with you. Let them down easy ladies…

9. Mooga– guys with 80’s hairband hair

10. Tangentiling– (or Tangentilizing) what girls do when they are having a conversation about a single subject and then can’t help but go off on tangents.

11. Black hole– DON’T BE DIRTY! This is the place in your bag (or pocketbook depending on where you’re from) where things disappear to. You know when you can’t find your lipstick so you empty your bag and it’s not there, and then 5 minutes later you empty your bag again and it’s there? It was in the black hole.

12. Formal Announcements– this is when you have something burning to say during a girlie-girl conversation and it just can’t wait. You raise your arms so that all eyes are instantly drawn to you and then you say that you “would like to make a formal announcement” FAs can also be written in print when you want to let people know that you are “serious” about something.

13. Emergency Corkscrew– (this of course was added by the magic pen of Sommelier)this is the must-have accessory for every super-friend because you never know when you might be caught without a wine-opener and that = an emergency. TIP: Be sure to pack it in your checked bags and not your carry on when traveling or it will be confiscated because apparently it can double as a weapon (however, when not traveling always have one in your purse and glove compartment).

14. Hemp Seeds– Not exactly sure what they are, but DJ Super Pilot is always snacking on them and they get stuck between her computer keys. Cowgirl and I are convinced it’s “code” for something…

15. Cleanish– The word we ask DJ Super Pilot before opening one of her videos in front of housekeepers or children. She tends to find some pretty racy songs, so we’ll ask her if it’s appropriate to open in front of others, to which she’ll reply, “would I do that to you? It’s clean (mostly)” Hence the word “cleanish” has been birthed.

16. Niggly-wiggly – when something doesn’t feel quite right or you feel off but you just can’t put your finger on it

17. Scooby Snacks– The ‘treats’ you can’t give up, because the guy is so tasty, yet when your superfriends hear the details they say, “Ruh roh!”

18. Pee-like-a-racehorse- in other words, if you don’t find me a bathroom now, there’s gonna be an accident in aisle 6… You can thank Pilot for that one as well.

19. Somethin’ somethin’– being with a guy when you have that feeling that you had as a kid, before you knew what sex was but you were dying to find out, but you knew you weren’t going to find out yet.

20. Corn– means ‘whatever.’ Sister and I decided we were going to take a random word, make it mean something else, and see how long it took until someone said it to us… never caught on.

21. Word!- started in the early 80s rap scene to mean, “Exactly,” “I know,” “I’m with you,” “That’s what I’m talkin’ about,” and a plethora of similar statements. Sister decided to bring ‘word’ back about 5 years ago. It’s caught on, and everybody’s using it again… word!

Oh, don’t you worry… the list will grow longer as necessary

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6 Responses to RCG’s Glossary

  1. Pilot (that's Mrs. Pilot to you...:) says:

    Pee-like-a-racehorse: in other words, if you don’t find me a bathroom now, there’s gonna be an accident in aisle 6…:)

  2. Cowgirl (yeehaw!) says:

    I have a formal announcement…..You need to add “lair” to the glossary! By the way, I’m having withdrawal from 5 star bolognase and red wine!

  3. And are you packing your Emergency Corkscrew? I know it’s in the glossary, but I feel there’s a dirty joke in there waiting to happen…

    • Pilot (that's Mrs. Pilot to you...:) says:

      Ah yes, for the glossary….the good ole dirty corkscrew….didn’t Sommelier almost get that at the bar, playing chess with a tall, dark stranger?

      • And I should also add “the old dirty corkscrew screw screw” That’s when you get screwed because you think you’re about to screw a tall, dark, chess playing stranger, until his baby-mama shows up with his baby and screws it all up.

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