“I pulled a you today,” Sister told me. I had an idea what that meant, but had to hear it for myself. You see I have a bit of a reputation with Sister and a few other friends as being brutally blunt. I’m not quite sure I understand the difference between blunt and honest, and when you’re being honest, so as not to play games with a person emotionally or mentally, how is that brutal?

I don’t see how when after having a pleasant conversation with a guy I’m not attracted to leads to him asking for my number to which I say, “I enjoyed talking with you but I’m not interested in pursuing this any farther,” makes me brutal, or mean, or harsh, or a bitch, as I’ve been called by the girls with their shocked expressions. How am I a bitch? I didn’t say it with a nasty tone. Where was the mean, brutal, harshness in that statement? I just don’t think people are used to saying what they mean or hearing the truth. Should I have given him a fake number? THAT would have made me a bitch. Should I have told him that he was nice to talk to but unattractive? THAT would have been brutal, mean, and harsh. But enough about me…

There’s a weird phenomenon that seems to be popping up in my life lately (did I say enough about me? I’m sorry, but I’m trying to make a point) it’s called con-text-fidence. (I know, I should add it to the glossary) People, who clearly have a problem communicating, suddenly get this new found confidence when they’re writing text messages. IC did it all of the time, and when I told him to stop texting me and call me instead, he said he was no good on the phone. What the heck does that mean? That you can’t speak on the phone the words that you can write in a text? Yes, apparently that’s exactly what it means. Texting is the new substitute for alcohol AKA liquid courage. My feeling is if you can’t say it, don’t display it… in my text messages. I don’t want to read what you what you can’t say with creed (I know that means a formal statement of Christian beliefs, but just leave out the Christian part so it means a formal statement of belief… because otherwise my sentence doesn’t rhyme). Don’t type with your finger, what can’t roll off your tongue and let linger…

I bet right about now you’re wanting to strangle me, but you can’t because you want to hear what happened with Sister. So here it is. Another online dating debacle. Unbeknownst to Sister, she met a manchild online. His profile had me cracking up… but now we know the truth… he’s only funny in “type.”

Sister had the conversation about wanting to SPEAK on the phone, too many times in my opinion, but she’s more forgiving than myself. At first, she accepted his excuses: I have to text because I’m at work and I have to text because I’m out with my friends in a loud bar. CORN! (See glossary if you’re wondering why I put a random word in caps there.. it’s not a random word).

But when you’re supposed to be on a date with a guy on Saturday night and instead you’re having a heart to heart conversation… via text… something is wrong. And Sister knew it. So she blew him off for 3 days. But he re-engaged this morning… with a text message, “Hey stranger, long time no speak.” Maybe that’s because you don’t know how to use a phone! No, she didn’t say that. That would be bitchy.. which she was not. Instead she texted back, “I told you how I feel about text message conversations. I prefer to speak by phone. That said, don’t call me because I’m not interested in pursuing this relationship any further.”

I’m doing the “Go Sister Go Sister.. Go Go.. Go Sister” dance right now. DJ Super Pilot, I’m sure you can offer up the perfect accompany music for my dance.

Now, when she told me what she had written, she said it completely matter of factly. He may read it as rude or harsh or bitchy, but that’s his fault. That’s what he gets for losing the tonality of having a verbal conversation. And don’t try to play that emoticon card with me, because I’ve used that smiley face many a time knowing full well I wasn’t smiling, but I wasn’t about to use the smiling demon face.

I think you should stop reading for a few seconds and give Sister a power clap for keepin’ it real!

Con-text-fidence is for woosies! I want to hear a man’s voice! I won’t start rhyming again, but I think you know I feel. If not, let me know, and I’ll add some more rhymes in the comment section.

Ladies, take a page from Sister’s diary and start keepin’ it real. It’s not brutal, it’s just honesty.

©2011