People who ask ‘how do you really know you’re in love’ have never been in love. They certainly haven’t seen a good romantic comedy or they would know… or at least know what they don’t know.
I just watched The Wedding Planner… AGAIN. They had a great moment. Great romantic comedies always have the ‘great moment’ it’s what separates them from the average. The moment in the park between Steve and Mary… discovering his quirk of only eating brown M & Ms, the magic of the scene structure; a classic romantic movie being shown outdoors as the couple watches from the tree base that forms a bench, and then the dance that mirrors the romance on the screen within our screen. The way that they looked at each other so that we knew what they knew. It was their moment.
I know it’s a movie, and cynics would say, “Those scenes are so contrived so cliche” and “when do ‘real-life’ guys say to the woman they love ‘I may not know you very well, but I know every contour of your face, every gold speck in your eyes.’ ?” Are they cliche? Are most women being taken on dates to parks to watch classic movies and slow dance on the grass until it rains? It’s not like it happens in every romantic comedy… oh no. Each one has it’s unique moment. So how is it cliche? How is it contrived? Because it was written for a movie? So what? You do realize someone had to be romantic enough to think up that scene, that despite what you may think does not happen on average dates and is therefore— NOT a cliche!
Someone who’s known love and known ‘a moment’ wrote those words for the actor to say, set that scene for the actors to play, and revealed himself in a very truthful way.
Yes, we writers fictionalize, we amplify an emotion to engage our readers, but it’s only because we’ve known the un-amplified emotion and turned it up. And sometimes, if we’ve been really lucky, we’ve known it at ’11’ (to pull from Spinal Tap).
Have you ever had a moment that’s an 11? I did… once. And because of it, I believe in the moment. I know it exists. I could easily pull it out of my life and place it in a script and it would be a great moment to anyone watching it.
I choose to believe that any man capable of experiencing ‘a moment’ is capable of saying words that melt a girl’s heart like in romantic comedies. There are soooo many guys out there who want ‘a moment’ as much as girls do. Sometimes we forget that. We think that we are the romantic gender. I don’t know. I think men are better at the grand gestures. I think there is no one more romantic than a man in love.
My friends encourage me to internet date again, to put myself out there more, to stop focusing on finding female friends, and find myself a man. I honestly don’t believe that’s how it’s going to happen for me. While I’ve only had one ‘moment’ I’ve had many moments of pure splendor… sweet moments, thoughtful moments, loving moments, with men I’ve cared about deeply and even men I’ve only known for a short time. Not one of those men did I seek out online or get set up with. Each one had his own special ‘story’ in my life.
I’m waiting for someone with whom the sweet moments will pile up, one after another, until, once again, I will have ‘a moment’ and I think THAT is well worth waiting for. And THAT is worth putting my trust and faith into. And anytime I forget that, anytime I question ‘when is it going to happen?’ I think I’ll pop in one of my classic favorites. Because while those leading men are only acting, in order to touch us so deeply, they have to be connecting to something true. I am willing to wait for that something true…