Well, I don’t know about you, but I had a FUN weekend! Saturday, I went to my very first rodeo, and I’m not talking about shopping on the “drive” in Beverly Hills, I’m talking about a bull riding, barrel racing, and lassoing calves while riding a horse (there’s a name for that, but I don’t remember what it is) ro-de-o.

I saw real cowboys, y’all. Unfortunately, they kinda sucked. I don’t mean to call them out, I imagine what they’re trying to do is really hard, but not one of them completed the task of their event. I didn’t know what was supposed to be the end result. Two cowboys come riding out of a gate with lassos twirling (I don’t think cowboys would like that word, but I don’t know how else to describe it) and a calf runs out and they are supposed to, I assume, catch it by the horns and the back legs. But all of the calves got away. They missed them! And it’s not like they were greased piglets. They weren’t slippery. And the MC kept announcing that these guys were world champions. I’d like to know “of what” because I’m guessing it’s beer drinking because they certainly weren’t rodeo champions.

Then they invited about 100 children between 6 and 10 into the corral and gave them the task of chasing two calves around to pull the ribbons off of their tails. The two innocent little calves were so excited to be set free in the corral, they started running around happily and then all of a sudden they were terror stricken when 100 screaming kids rushed them!  It was almost as frightening as American Horror Story… but I tangentalize and being that it’s after midnight I REALLY don’t want to go down that tangent because that show scares the bull crap out of me…

And speaking of bulls… (like the way I segued there?) Bull riders are just flat out crazy!!! Who even came up with that competition? Some drunk cowboy I’m sure, because no sober one could possibly think THAT is a good idea! How do these guys not have whiplash?

Anyway, despite not being the best rodeo, it was a new life experience and it made me wonder what else is out there. I am going to make a list of all of the new life experiences that I want to have. You know how a long time ago, Dating Guru suggested I make a list of qualities that I want in a man? I’m going to go in another direction. I am going to make a list of dates I’d like to go on with the right man, and if he shows up, he can join me. If he doesn’t, I’m going to keep on living my life to the fullest. Next…

Hot Air Balloon! I want to go up in one! So that’s on my list. I’ll come up with more, so stay tuned.

Tonight I went line dancing. I really like going out in country bars. Everyone is there to have fun and the guys are over all very respectful. They ask you to dance and you have a good time and that’s it. Tonight I went with a guy friend whom everyone thought was my husband (country guys need to sharpen their detective skills and check the ring fingers before making that assumption) so the guys would ask his permission to dance with me. I MAY or MAY NOT have been dancing with Glenn from Most Eligible Dallas tonight. Either way the guy was hot and had a rock solid body. And he knew how to lead a girl around a dance floor, and trust me ladies, I am NOT easy to lead! He kept telling me to look at his eyes… it helped. Not only because they were so nice to look into, but it kept my mind off my feet. He was spinning me around like no one’s business. As he was leaving he asked my friend if it was alright if he said goodnight to his wife (that’s me). Upon being given permission, he kissed my hand and thanked me for dancing with him. Glenn or Not Glenn, I don’t think it was the heat that was making my jeans stick to my thighs!

I need to find me a good ole cowboy! Yee-frickin’-haw!

©2011