Banana Bread Head

I couldn’t take it anymore! My hair is naturally curly, but I’ve been wearing it straight for at least a decade now, and it’s taken it’s toll. It is SOOOOOO dry! Don’t worry, I didn’t cut it all off. Instead, I hit the internet and typed in “Homemade Hair Masks.”

At the moment, you could stick my head in the oven and a bread would come out, it would be a hairy bread, but a bread nonetheless.

I combined a banana, 1 egg, 3 tablespoons of honey, 3 tablespoons of milk, and 5 tablespoons of olive oil.

In the first 5 minutes it felt a little itchy. Now 15 minutes in, I’ve had to stuff a tissue in my ear, because the greenish brown concoction has oozed it’s way out of the saran wrap, through the towel and into my ear. I better not wake up with a bug picnic happening in my ear tonight!

The pictures in Self Magazine make home “spas” looks so glamourous. My arms are sticking to my laptop as I type this because I have honey on them despite washing several times.

5 minutes until I shampoo!!!!

I have now stuffed an additional wash cloth under the towel to stop the dripping down my neck. I am suddenly concerned that when I take B out for a walk later I’m going to be swarmed by bees!


I just got out of the shower, and here’s what went down:

Banana is not the greatest thing to wash out in your tub. I had to keep cleaning out my hair cover because the banana was stuffing it up. Then my head became something out of a sitcom. You know when a person on a sitcom puts too much laundry detergent in the washing machine and the suds don’t stop… that was my shampoo.

Normally my shampoo barely suds at all, but just now the size of the suds monster on my head almost doubled the size of me!!! Where the heck did all of those suds come from? And they were firm! I have a mirror across from my shower so I was making fantastic crowns and animals out of them. Then I washed out the shampoo and figured I better do it twice. Same thing! Suds monster!!! The conditioner was far more mellow.

Once I rinsed and exited my shower, it was easy to get the brush through… good. But upon further inspection of my brush, I noticed, lots of bitty bits of banana in the bristles. I cleaned my brush and ran it through my hair. Less bits, but still bits. I can only assume there is still banana in my hair. Good thing monkeys aren’t indigenous to my area.

The ends of my hair feel great. It’s still wet, but overall, I think the homemade mask was a success.

Now for all of you gals out there who have a man, I think this can be a really fun couples exercise. Your man gets to massage all the food into your hair, and rinse it in the shower… kind of like Nine and a Half Weeks meets Splash…

If you go for it, tell me how it turns out…



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2 Responses to Banana Bread Head

  1. jgwinner says:

    I was thinking someone to dab at the product ooziing around would be good for this treatment too.

    You have a mirror in your bathroom? Wow. Not sure how much product would get rinsed out in that kind of shower, but I bet everything would get plenty slippery and squeeky … 🙂

    Speaking of showers, your blog post about the D-Bag makes me want to take one … I’m not happy being in the same XY gene pool as that guy. Wow! But, the sad thing is I’m SURE he’s gotten more action than I have.

    (I HAVE taken steps to fix that … things will get better).

    == John ==

  2. jgwinner says:

    You have a mirror in your shower? Cool. Not sure how much the little bits of bannana would get washed out, but I’m sure things would get slippery and squeeky 🙂

    A 2nd person to manage stuff oozing out during the wrap phase would help too.

    Speaking of showers … your last blog post about the D-Bag makes me want to take one. I’m sorry to say I’m in the same 1/2 of the gene pool (XY pool) as he is. Sad thing is, he almost certainly lucks out more than I do though.

    (I HAVE taken steps to fix that … things will get better.)

    == John ==

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