My Giant Pupil

First, let me start by giving you today’s pajama stain, because no I have not gotten out of my pajamas, and yes I did get a food stain. But, only one, which is impressive, considering I’ve had three meals today. Today’s food stain of the day is…. turkey chile. I’ve got a cornucopia of different colored stains going into the laundry this week.

So let’s talk about my giant pupil. I hadn’t even noticed it until I got my yearly physical and my doctor asked to see my driver’s license (an odd request from a doctor). Obviously, I fished through my bag and handed it to her. She looked at my license then back at me then back at my license, then back at me. I call her Dr. Bailey, because she looks A LOT like her, and even though I’ve been going to her for about ten years, any time I try to picture her, all I can see in my mind is Dr. Bailey. Of course I don’t call her that to her face, because that would be rude. But here, between us girls who all watch Grey’s Anatomy, we’re calling her Dr. Bailey. So, after going back and forth for a while, Dr. Bailey finally asks, “Have you been having any headaches?” I hadn’t… prompting a few more looks at my license and then a request to see some recent pictures on my iPhone. What the heck is going on? I show Dr. Bailey some pictures of me on my iPhone, and she exclaims that one of my pupils is far larger than the other one and she is sending me in for neurological testing.

Three eye doctors, two neurologists, and a CAT scan later…

(SIDEBAR, when I was in the CAT scan machine, I was pretending I was in an episode of House. They never reveal the LOUD noise that the machine makes on TV. They just talk to the people in the giant white tubes as if the creature from LOST is not screaming in their head).

… it is revealed that it was nothing more than an ocular migraine. Whatever the heck that is. But of course, now I’m very aware that whenever I spend a lot of time on the computer (like today 10 hours cleaning out and returning emails) or watching a lot of tv, I get a giant pupil. I’m convinced it happened when I went to see Avatar in 3-D. I had no problem watching the movie, but I had a headache for three days after. Now I won’t go see 3-D movies! Good thing they’re not doing romantic comedies in 3-D… dang! I better not have jinxed it!

© 2010

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