When I started this blog it was very clearly geared to my life “on the way to happily ever after” only writing about all of those “romantic comedy” moments, of which I had plenty. But lately there’s been a drought of these moments… I was actually starting to border on “cool” and my role as leading lady was being threatened. Tonight though, I had a moment… and it was a doozy! I’m back in full effect!
I went out last night, and because it had been a humid day, for the first time in well over a decade I wore my hair curly. I got so many compliments it was ridonkulous. And quite frankly, I didn’t want them. I’m a girl… I want what I can’t have STRAIGHT HAIR! I must admit, it was easy. All I did was wash, put in a little leave in condition, and let it air dry.
So tonight I’m going out again, and did I wear it curly? Hell to the no! I busted out the hair dryer as I was already dripping in sweat AFTER taking my shower. I never complain about the heat on the West coast… it’s heavenly, but East Coast heat is different. It’s suffocating. So I’m wearing a paper thin Hard Tail skirt and I’m trying to tighten my curls around a round brush, and I’m holding the blow dryer between my legs when I start smelling something very strange. At first I ignore it because I really want to get all of the hair tightly around the brush like The Lion (my hairdresser) does. Note to self: add the Lion to Cast of Characters because he’s hilarious!
The smell got worse as I pulled the hair out and started again. When all of a sudden I could feel the hot air from the hairdryer burning my thighs. I reached down to take it when I noticed, my skirt was on fire! Good Lord! I let the hair dryer (still blowing) crash to the floor and stared at my skirt temporarily at a loss for what to do. Obviously there was no fire extinguisher in my bathroom and even if there had been I wouldn’t have known how to use it! The next thought that went through my mind was, “Thank goodness my vajooge is waxed, because we wouldn’t want that going up in flames,” which is obviously what got me thinking about the toilet which is when I had my brilliant idea to squat over it and drown my flaming skirt in the bowl water. Another good reason why the whole “if it’s brown flush it down, if it’s yellow let it mellow” isn’t a good idea, even for water enthusiasts who live in deserts and are having a drought. You never know when you’re going to have to shove your flaming skirt into the toilet and it would be pretty gross if there was pee in it.
So there you have it… another classic story, another piece of clothing ruined, romantic comedy style. I’m sure Sister will be happy. I’ve had that skirt since ’05 and nothing stays in Sister’s closet past “the season.”