Seriously.. it’s like a spa in here. You walk into vases (yes plural) of Lilies that make the whole place smell wonderful. It’s clean to the point of OCD. All of the furniture is comfy yet stylish. But the danger is in the details, and by danger I mean, everything in this place makes me want to make a 911 call to the Nutritionist. Here’s a list of triggers fro me:

Candles: Creamy Vanilla Swirl, Vanilla Bean, Vanilla Cupcake (which smells just like one!)

Bubble bath: Coconut Frosting….yum!!!!

Face Masque: Seaweed (may not seem to be a trigger, but it reminds me of sushi and I can no longer have soy sauce, so it is an issue), Cucumber Ice Sorbet

Scrub: Almond Honey

Then there are the luxuries: Lavender/Vanilla SLEEP Dream Bath, Lavender Body Oil, Desert Sage Body Polish, Lemon Verbena candles scattered throughout the house. I’m convinced her toilet paper is imported from a castle because it feels like royalty when I wipe.  Even the hand soap is “Sensual Hand Soap” Jasmine/vanilla.. I feel sexy just washing my hands.

Her shower caps are cute. Who has cute shower caps? All I can ever find at the drugstore are Granny Caps or if I look deep into my linen closet I can dig out an old Saran Wrap one I took from a hotel. But Sister has shower caps with turquoise flowers, and turquoise stripes. I want a turquoise flower shower cap! I wish to look cute in the shower while keeping my hairdo dry.

There are multiple glasses of scented oils with sticks shooting out. I’m not sure how they work, but some smell like the beach, some smell like flowers, and some smell like something I can’t identify but it makes me want to rub the oil all over IC!

To add to the spa experience, there’s a store… not literally, but you know how exclusive spas have gift shops with jewelry, etc? Well, Sister has a large dresser with two jewelry trees, two jewelry displays, a perfume collection, and a shell display with enough “stuff” to literally open a store. Which is nice, because if you look in her closet it’s much of the same… miles of designer clothes. So, when at “the spa” I shop at what I lovingly call “My Sister’s Closet.” She lets me have at her jewelry and clothes, and for a short time I feel like I could easily hang with the women in Vogue… or the Kardashians, because some of the jewelry is extreme for me, but apparently the Kardashians wear it.

While the rooms all have different decorative themes, they all fit perfectly and belong in the pages of Architectural Digest. And she did it all herself. No decorator.  Most of the time I don’t even sleep in a bed because the couch is so dang comfortable! Sister’s got goooood taste!

And speaking of taste… her cleaning products all have names and scents that you could eat, like cucumber. Imagine cleaning a counter and then wanting to lick it. Don’t do it, just imagine it.  I use vinegar.. it smells terrible, and certainly not like something you want to lick!

Sister also has a dog. HE SMELLS GOOD! How does that happen? Dogs never smell good all the time.. but Sister’s does. And his fur is like a mink coat. Talk about luxury, this dog has a designer tote to travel in, dog beds galore, more toys than FAO Schwartz, a velvet burrow hole, and adorable matching leash and collar. Was very relieved that Sister didn’t buy him any jeweled collars, after all, he is a boy and spends a lot of time playing football.

Today I must leave the spa, and the mink dog, and Sister… and I’m very sad. I’ll be back in in two months as my year of the Gypsy continues, but I miss her already…

©2011