It Sucks When Your Ex Looks Good BUT It Rocks When He Looks AWFUL!!!

Yes, I had my very first Shady sighting since the night I dropped him at the airport, said goodbye, and wished him a successful business trip. Little did I know that whole trip was a facade so he could have sex with his ex-girlfriend from college who was married with three kids. The fact that she was cheating on her husband was not my problem. The fact that he was cheating on me… was his problem!

Five hours after discovering ‘the truth about Shady’ I had already changed my alarm code, locks on the door, packed all his things and had his two friends pick up all of his stuff. I was done with him and never wanted to see him again. That was 2008…

And I didn’t see him again…. until last night. It wasn’t how I imagined it at all. I figured I was going to feel something, nervous butterflies, disgust, anger… but no. Nothing. Nada. If anything, I felt sorry for him. He looked AWFUL! And I’m not just saying that because I’m his ex, I happened to be at a carnival with Sexy Wife, Hubby, and their two kids. At the exact moment I saw him, I was holding the hand of the couple’s 4-year-old and sort of pushed her and Hubby off to the side saying, “Move to the right, don’t look around, just keep moving, just keep moving…” I wasn’t sure at this point where Sexy Mom and her son were because she was checking someone out herself… someone who she thought didn’t belong.

When she caught up to us, she asked what was going on. I explained that my ex-fiance was there and she, of course, wanted to know where. “He’s the guy back there with the long hair.” NOW before you start thinking RCG + Long Hair = good thing… 1. My heavy metal guy phase ended in the 80’s 2. Even if the occasional Muga Man (see glossary) turns my head, it’s not for this kind of hair.

Sexy Mom said, “No!!! I was just looking at him thinking about what a dirtbag he looked like.” Not to make me feel badly, she said, “Don’t worry, we all have those guys in our past that make us ask ‘how did I wind up with him?'” I tried to redeem myself a little bit by explaining he didn’t look like that when I was with him.

When Shady and I first started dating, he tried growing his hair out. It was his way of saying ‘F-You’ to ‘the man’ no suits, no boss, no haircuts. He looked like a homeless bum, and in an effort to not hurt his self esteem while still getting him to cut it, I would say things like, “You have such a beautiful face, you’d look so sexy with your hair cut short so I could see it.” It eventually worked and for the remainder of our relationship, he looked neat and clean. As I said, our break-up was in 2008 and I don’t think his hair has been cut since. He also lost weight but not in a good way. He used to be big and muscular.. now he is probably 30 lbs smaller but not muscular. I’m not trying to bash him, I’m simply just expressing my shock as to how much he changed and not for the better.

It could have been worse. He could have looked really good like First Love when I saw him again. Or been in IC’s situation (yes, he’s IC again.. more about that in a moment) IC is exactly the opposite of Shady. His poor ex must see him now and be like “why didn’t you care about your body when you were with me?” Her loss is my gain, and my loss may be the gain of the girl with Shady. I couldn’t get a look at her because I was too busy avoiding him so I wouldn’t give him any reason to re-engage with me. It was so hard to get rid of him for the first year after our break-up! I even had to pay $5/month to AT&T to get him blocked from my cell phone.

So out with the old and in with the new. Maybe I over-reacted a bit in my last entry. That can only mean one thing… I’m in deeper than I initially thought. While I was getting frustrated thinking I was ‘out of sight out of mind’ because he preferred texting me to calling… he was busy telling his ex-wife about me.  That is a big deal and something I wish he would have discussed with me before doing it considering I know her too. I haven’t seen her in many years, but it’s the point.  It’s only been about two months. Who knows where this is going? Why upset her for no reason? I was picturing her going home that night and googling me to find out everything about me. There’s a lot to find… Well at least she knows her kids are being exposed to someone having a positive influence on the world.

The whole ‘Ex’ thing is complex, difficult, intricate, byzantine, thorny, dense, convoluted, and problematical. And as Ivana Trump said, “Looking good is the best revenge.” Not that I want revenge on any of my exes, but I’ll keep doing my yoga, coloring my hair, and wearing my tinted moisturizer…

Anyway… 4 days until I see IC! Is that bad that I’m counting the days? Ruh Roh!

©2011

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