Here’s why I’m bringing this up. Some Scuzzo tried to post a comment on yesterday’s “I’m in heat” entry which made me throw up a little in my mouth, and so I deleted it to spare you all and blocked him from the blog. Now, I’m guessing, that as women, who like me, have ‘cycles’, you’ve probably noticed that certain times of the month you are a little bitchier, certain times of the month there is blood rushing from your vajooge, certain times of the month you are hornier than usual, and certain times of the month you actually feel somewhat normal. Four ‘certain times’ which correspond with four weeks, which make up the month of a woman.
So this Creep, starts spewing out disgusting propositions to me as if I was some whore who was going to write him back and take his money to do those things to him. I’m guessing the reason he needs my services is because he’s too fat to find those parts himself!
In an ode to Carrie Bradshaw’s fictitious column, I ask the question: Can good girls be bad?
The reason I think that Sex and The City skewed men’s ideas about women, is because when you write characters for a show, you have to play up stereotypes so that different voices create an interesting dynamic. Well I have news for you fellas, when Candice wrote that, I’m willing to bet there was a little bit of her in each of those characters. Why? Because I took the quiz, many times, and depending on my cycle, I always turned out to be a different character.
You men think that you can hang with a Carrie, work with a Miranda, sleep with a Samantha, but marry a Charlotte. That’s such crap. You guys just don’t get it. Women are all of those characters mixed into one. You get the whole package.
Yes, you can hang out on the couch with me watching Adam Sandler films and take me to football games like you would ‘a Carrie’, and you know what else? When you take me home to meet your mom, she’s going to meet ‘Charlotte.’ Then, I’ll excuse myself for a few hours to slip into Type A ‘Miranda’ mode because I run a successful business and it’s at the top of my priority list… but do you think that with all of that, I have to suddenly be some goody-two-shoes in the bedroom or all of the fore mentioned becomes obsolete? HELL TO THE NO! Darlin’ when you get me in the bedroom I’m going to put ‘Samantha’ to shame… I’m pulling out all the stops. You know why? Because there is nothing wrong with being a good girl to the world and a bad girl for you. It doesn’t make me a slut, it doesn’t make me crazy, it doesn’t make me bi-polar. It makes me ‘well-rounded’.
Since when does being a rockstar in the bedroom make you non-marriage material? Are you guys nuts? You should be praying for an all-in-one Sex and the City Girl. Because the alternative is having a one note relationship with your goody goody wife whom you won’t let off her back because you wouldn’t want to disrespect the mother of your children, and then you go out and cheat on her with some dumb stripper you meet in Atlantic City.
Come on fellas, get with the program. Every woman’s got some Samantha in her, and you should be thankful for it, you should encourage her, you should kneel at her feet for it, because if you don’t, she’s going to get B-O-R-E-D with you and wonder what these strange urges she’s getting are when she watches True Blood, and eventually while you’re schtupping the stripper, she causing a racket with her tennis instructor.
Girls, get your freak on! Don’t worry about which character you are, discover each one of them inside you. The fun and silly, the polite and demure, the confident and successful, the vixen and the wild child. Embrace them all. Life’s too sort to try to fit into a mold and please people. You’ve got to be you. Balance the characters anyway you like. Or let your ‘cycles’ determine who you are this day, this hour, this minute. Either way, you can’t lose when you’re being true to yourself. And if that makes me a “bad girl” I believe you missed the point…