It’s Not Hard To Get Them Off…

Did I just say that REALLY loudly in the middle of a hotel lobby filled with men? Sister has been constantly telling me that I need to lower my voice, lately. Is my hearing going? I didn’t mean to say it SO LOUDLY and it’s not what it sounds like…. I swear it’s not!

After an amazing and intense day in the Queen’s Court, I was walking through the hotel lobby, with Sexy Wife on my way to the parking lot, when I couldn’t bear the thought of walking all the way to the parking lot in my 4″ heels. I told her I had to sit down for a minute to change my shoes. She asked if I wanted her to wait for me so we could walk together. I said, “Sure it will just take a sec,” and then my voice got really loud as I continued, “It’s not hard to get them off.” There was a moment of awkwardness as we both realized… that was a weird thing to yell in a room full of guys, but then we just laughed. After two years of friendship and working together, I don’t think anything that comes out of my mouth, especially in public, surprises her.

But I didn’t stop there… I came home to change for a speaking engagement, and was drawn to the large photo of my dog that my mom had blown up for me. Having large dogs means… large lips. My mastiff had lips that were like a human’s and I used to love to kiss her… I know weird unless you’re a weird dog lover like me. Anyway… I was looking at her giant photo, with her life-sized head, and I looked at her lips, and said, “I miss kissing those lips.”

One of Sister’s neighbors walked by the window at the same time, and yelled in, “you’re either desperate or long distance.” I looked out at the snooping guy and said, “Wrong on both accounts. I miss my dead dog.” That shut him up… but I felt badly as he walked away, so I yelled after him, “Actually, I ‘m desperate.” He didn’t look back. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t trying to kiss him, just wanted to make him feel better for my mean but true comment.

I do miss kissing though. I think I need a new glossary word for meaningless make out sessions. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m not going to meaninglessly make out with someone.. but it’s fun to think about when I’m deliriously tired, have no prospects, and just watched Glee On Demand. That blond kid gets teased for his lips, but they are ripe for a make out, and I can say that because he’s not a high school student, he just plays one on tv.

Okay, I’d better go get back on the wagon and read my Soulmate journal before I fall asleep. My soulmate has really kissable lips too. He’s also wearing a thick off-white turtle neck. He’s so J. Crew… and on that note, it’s time to fall asleep…

©2011

 

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2 Responses to It’s Not Hard To Get Them Off…

  1. AdventureBiz Babe says:

    Love this…..but really…..It’s not hard to get them off…..

    And I’m not talkin’ ’bout the heels either!

  2. Oh… I know what you’re talkin’ bout…… those water marks they put on stock photos… Am I right? Am I right?

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