Temptation… The Grass Is Always Greener

My calves hurt SOOOOO much and it feels great! I have been walking around Manhattan like a woman on a mission! Miles and miles… in flip flops, yes, there are blisters but I don’t care. I’m on the last day of my trip and I feel like a subway aficionado. It’s ironic that when I lived here I NEVER took the subway. This trip I’d be on it roundtrip twice a day, maneuvering from platform to platform because I’d enter on the uptown side instead of the downtown, going up and down stairs and escalators, until I finally got the hang of it.. and started using my iPone compass. A compass, I’ve discovered, is a life and time saving device for someone as directionally impaired as me! I didn’t care if I looked like the weirdo on the corner waving my compass in the air! It saved me blocks of walking in the wrong direction which is usually how I roll.

My hair smells like the city. It’s a mix of subway, vender stand smoke, and pollution, but I’m not ready to wash it yet. I want to simmer in the eau de franks and pretzels. There have been many new food additions to the street fair since I’ve been here; Greek, Mediterranean, and fresh fruit.

The best part of my trip was reconnecting with my friends. I’ve barely visited NY in the past 16 years, yet in the last two, I’ve been here about four times, and in doing so, reconnected with so many people from my past.

My NY friends tempt me, they make me consider moving back to this noisy, fast paced, concrete jungle. My girlfriend Loverville from college, and I hadn’t seen each other since graduation. It always amazes me, when I’ve been out of touch with an old friend for 15+ years, and you sit down to brunch and it’s as if no time has passed. Yes, you talk about what you’ve been up to for the past two decades, but the familiarity is amazing. She looks the same, her voice is the same, her mannerisms the same, so of course it feels beyond comfortable.

She took me on a tour of the West Village. When I lived in Manhattan, I lived on the upper West side and I rarely left my hood. When I did it was a cab trip back and forth to a specific destination.

On this particular trip, I saw four neighborhoods I’d never been to. Each one made me want to move there! Two other sorority sisters came into the city for a visit. We went to the W Hotel, and they laughed at my ‘signature drink’ though it didn’t surprise them at all. It was the first time my Dirty Virgin Martini was served to me in a shaker. Very impressive.

But it was my guy friends who really got me thinking. I had lunch with a couple, and they reminded me what I want in a guy. That internet dating threw me for a loop, I have to tell you. It really made me feel like all of the men out there are a bunch of freaks!

My guy friends in NY are so uplifting! They are passionate about what they do and their families. Listening to them talk inspires me, and when I talk, the ideas start going back and forth, they get caught up in the collaboration of creation. These are guys that make things happen, and enjoy the challenge and putting the puzzle pieces into place. I have to wonder if I had as much passion about dating as I do about business, if this whole process would be more effective. I can talk about business for days on end, but sometimes, if I’m honest with myself, I really think I could care less about dating. Yes, I would love to meet a guy who is fabulous and it would organically fall into place… but doesn’t every single girl want that? The difference is, I enjoy the journey with the business. I love the day to day building of it and the new ideas, and the problem solving. The dating journey.. not so much. It feels like a waste of time. Is something wrong with me? Should I be wanting a dating journey? Because seriously, I NEVER have. I’ve always figured, no rush… when the right one comes along great.

I must keep reminding myself how important it is to stay focused on the type of guy I want. It’s too easy for me to get caught up in a “well maybe I can make this work” just because it’s someone to date. I can’t wait to read Loverville’s blog because it’s all about her ‘First Dates’ and when she told me how many she’d had, I was blown away. I think I’ve been going at this dating thing all wrong. I can’t put my finger on exactly what I’m doing wrong, but I know it’s something.

I’m sure NY seems attractive to me right now because the grass is always greener. And I know NY doesn’t have the monopoly on men who are passionate and collaborative. I just have to figure out what my “gene deficiency” (as my friend “The Man”) calls it, for attracting guys/falling for guys that need to be ‘lifted up’ by me.

I will have to investigate. And while living in NY close to my old friends sounds great, I know the grass is always greener, and as soon as I moved here, it would be like living in LA. I wouldn’t be a ‘visiting novelty’ anymore and all of my friends with their many responsibilities in life, would go about their lives, and I’d wind up living alone in an expensive apartment in a city where I’d freeze my ass off every winter.

The good news is, this traveling gypsy doesn’t have to make any big life changing decisions at this moment. Who knows, with trips to Arizona and Texas in the near future, their grass may look pretty green there too!

©2011

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1 Response to Temptation… The Grass Is Always Greener

  1. Loverville says:

    Thanks for the shout-out! SO great to see you!

    re: tolerance with dating — the journey CAN be fun if you don’t take it too seriously. Try to find guys who seem fun and interesting from the get-go, and take it from there. (“try” being the operative word here!)

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