Adventure Biz Babe Rocks… So How Do I Tie Sex Into This?

Adventure Biz Babe (ABB) is married, and yet she loves the blog. I told her that a lot of my married friends like the blog. Perhaps it’s so y’all can turn over in your bed and hug your hubby and say, “Thank the Lord I don’t have to go through that crap anymore!”

I’ve been working my butt off so nothing exciting is going on in my life, so I figured it was time for a chat with ABB to see what adventures she’s been on. Mammoth. Lucky Girl! I haven’t been to Mammoth in ages. She was hiking there, no doubt with a laptop in her backpack and a James Bond like contraption/phone that made her reachable to every person on the planet.

So after the adventure we talked a little ‘biz’ SEO to be exact, which made me need a drink, which unfortunately I don’t do, so it comes down to this: I don’t need to worry about SEO for this blog thanks to all of the pervs in the world. Here are some of the organic searches that stumbled upon Romantic Comedy Girl in the last week:

1. Sexy underwear but dad does the laundry? I feel your pain honey, and now that you’ve seen my blog entry you know you’re not alone. That is why the internet is good, so some girl who is probably 14 (because why else would she be living at home with her dad doing the laundry) knows, that somewhere there is a chick in her 40s who is living with her parents (part time… but still) and has to hide her sexy panties too.  NOTE to Adventure Biz Babe: I realize that just by acknowledging this prior blog, I will probably get double hits from all the creepy panty guys. Which leads to…

2. Where can I buy dirty panties? I know there are guys out there who are into this… but it really creeps me out that they are finding and reading my blog! So if this is you because you just googled something pervy about panties… GO AWAY!

3. Friend with benefits on a trip. Well, I get a lot of traffic from “Friend with Benefits” searches, and I only hope that my own saga, gives them some insight. Many a blog entry was written when I was on a trip, and my return was not a happy homecoming. As for the guy whose FWB is his sister’s best friend… you’ll be okay, but you know when your sister finds out there is going to be a fight made for a Bravo Reality show, that both girls may never recover from. But hey, clearly you don’t care about that, so… do what ya gotta do.

4. For every hot babe there is some guy who’s tired of her. And the MANY variations. My most drawing search. Apparently there is an epidemic of hot girls that men are tired of having sex with. If every state could just legalize gay marriage already, we could move on to other things… like legalizing polygamy. I don’t know, Bill Paxton made it look pretty good on Big Love!

5. Suffocation by boobs inversion table. I have NO idea what this person was searching for, but I know what post they were sent to, the one where I was holding shoulder stand and almost suffocated myself. Someone put that into a search engine. Fascinating!

6. Rain hat like gorton’s fisherman. Poor guy was looking for a rain hat and instead was sent to my blog entry talking about how FWB’s penis looked like the Gorton Fisherman.  And I imagine any man looking for that style rain hat has to be over 80, so the whole experience was probably extremely disturbing for him.

7. Having sex while eating. All I know is I was having sex and many states away Cowgirl was eating. Why this person is doing both at the same time or searching for information on the subject, is beyond me!

8. Sexy romantic strip lapdance music. This lucky person not only go my playlist for a lapdance, she also got my play by play of how I performed it… Rom Com Style, yo!

9. Soccermoms undressed. Okay this person was clearly looking for porn, and based on the two words, I’m not even sure what entry he was sent to.

10. Boobs hurt pms. Wow! This blog entry was from a long time ago. A time where my life was so incredibly boring, that you had to suffer through the play by play of my sore PMS boobs. Well, at least this chick now knows that, yes, boobs hurting are in fact a sign of PMS, however, they can also be a sign of pregnancy. Was that mean of me to write? Will some chick who types that in next time find this and be terrified that she may be pregnant? I’m keeping it in! Go get a test, chick!

11. Man wants to have female ass and hips. No clue, seriously no clue why this man was directed to me, but I pray he never returns!

12. Why would my dad have panties? That’s a good question. One that you probably don’t want the answer to. One that you definitely didn’t find the answer to when you were directed to my blog. Good luck with that… or better yet, just stop your search right now. You probably don’t want to know.

So Adventure Biz Babe,  I love you, I am so grateful to have you in my life, and somehow I managed to tie in sex stuff with your greatness. I hope the search engine bots enjoy this entry as much as the pervs who will find it will, as they revel in being acknowledged.

This was kind of a weird entry.  I really need to start dating again…

©2011

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8 Responses to Adventure Biz Babe Rocks… So How Do I Tie Sex Into This?

  1. Great! WordPress has a new feature. This is what I got after I published this post: You used the following categories and tags: Uncategorized. Add a couple more to make your post easier for others to discover. Some suggestions: dirty panties, sexy panties, sexy underwear, friend with benefits, and romantic comedy.

    OY VEY!!!!

  2. AdventureBiz Babe says:

    Confession time – I have a friend visiting from out of state. She is a writer who just got her first column on a website. I was showing her this blog because I just knew she would love it, when I start giggling because…. “it’s partly about me!” Yes, I like thrills….I like the outdoors…..I like adventure…..and I’m the biggest geek you’ll ever meet, but my secret addiction (and shot of adrenaline) is definitely this blog!!! I had my fair share of weird dating experiences, (like the guy who cried all through dinner on our first date) but I get a secret thrill from reading this, knowing that I wasn’t the only one who went through dating craziness, and pretending that my experiences were as interesting, (and sexy) as the ones listed here, (they were not). So, even tho I am married now, I’m still female, I still like an occasional thrill, and I love that you found a way to tie in sex with search engine optimization. Keep ’em comin’! I need my RCG! And….love you too! You rock!

  3. Page Turner says:

    Some of your oragnic searches have me wondering if federal agents or maybe, even some dexter type personality should be following up on these people. Suffocation by boobs? I mean come on, really what were you searching for?

  4. Wow thecamgirldiary, a website for women to pull a “Susan Meyer” from Desperate Housewives, chose to post this blog post on their blog. Huh. All power to the ladies making money that way, I’m just trying to figure out, of all my posts, why they went with this one? Must have been the “soccer moms undressed” that caught their attention.

  5. AdventureBiz Babe says:

    Post a link. I can’t find it.

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