I want you all to know that when you take the time to comment on my blog, it makes my day. It also makes me think and sometimes rethink what I blog about. Here’s a hilarious message I received from AdventureBiz Babe:
“Back in my dating days, I had all these little “tests” that guys had to pass before I would even consider a relationship with them. Tests like making them take me to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. More than once, I had men say, “Oh my god, we’re the only white people here…….” to which I would reply, “why would you even notice that?”……then the racism would come out.
So…..one of my little “tests” was asking them about former relationships. If all they did was bash everyone they ever dated, that pretty much let me know how they felt about women. And yes, I had men tell me, “my ex was a c@nt”. WHAT? You used the “C” word on our second date???
So I meet this hot guy…….I don’t remember where I met him, but I remember he was a taller look-alike for a young Michael Douglas, only better looking. When I ask him what he does, he says he’s an internet day trader, (read….he doesn’t have a job). This is our first date, and we’re sitting in a restaurant, and I casually bring up former relationships. He starts crying….and I mean CRYING! I say, wow, I am so sorry, insert name here must really have hurt you. To which, he explains that he dated this woman for 4 months, wasn’t really attracted to her, and he’s not crying about her, he is crying because he misses her 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!!! Now, the guy just can’t stop crying. In my head, a red light is going on, and a loud voice is screaming….. he dated her for 4 months, hasn’t talked about her at all, but is crying uncontrollably for her 13 year old daughter? CHILD MOLESTER! Needless to say, I excused myself to the restroom, begged the waitress to let me out the back door, (she completely understood) and blocked his emails.
I had a lot of first dates that I would never have anything to do with again, but this one really stood out!”
SUPER CREEPY!!!! After reading that, not only have I decided to abandon my theory of dating guys I wouldn’t be interested in, but I’ve decided to not date guys at all… ever again.
Instead, my new approach is that I’m going to have my parents do an arranged marriage. Here are my reasons:
1. They are paranoid about who I date after the Shady debacle and will do the necessary background check
2. My mom has very good taste when it comes to looks.
3. She is also super critical so she will grill the guy beyond the call of motherly duty and rule out all ‘hot messes’
4. They seem to want me in a relationship more than I care about being in one, which is only because I’m lazy and not wanting to meet the guys that AdventureBiz Babe dated.
5. Any man who would agree to an arranged marriage in this day and age AND have my parents approval, must be as cool and sick of the dating scene as me.
It’s kinda ridiculous for me to say I’m sick of the dating scene, when technically I have been on maybe 3 dates since 2008. I guess the “sick of it” comes from the thought of the process. Then I look at Loverville and she’s been on like 194 first dates in the last few years. And the girl has a grueling work schedule!
So, yeah, I’m just lazy. And as you know if you read this blog, you could not describe me as lazy in any other area of my life, so I’m also avoiding. I can’t think of any past date trauma that I’ve encountered. The only bad part of dating for me is when I’m not interested in seeing the guy again even though we had a lot of laughs and good conversation, because the attraction is just not there for me… and no, he will NOT grow on me. It’s so awkward to have to tell a guy who thinks he rocked a date that there will not be a next one. It’s like Ashley sending Ben home after he proposed, only it was only one date so he’s not as traumatized as Ben.
Seriously, I don’t want to date. I just don’t. But if I don’t this blog is going to get really boring. I guess I’ll do it for you all… but I don’t have to like it!
©2011
romanticcomedygirl 
Yup….I went through some crazy first dates, but don’t give up just yet! 3 first dates after this terrible one is when I met my husband. And trust me, after that date, I basically treated all guys like crap on a first date. My beloved husband took it all, (and still does) and looked me square in the eye and said, “OK, I get it. You’ve seen a lot of @ssholes. Eventually, you’ll see I’m not one of them, and then you’ll relax. I think you’re worth it, so I’ll wait.” Thank goodness he did! Now, as to the arrangement theory….that’s not entirely a bad idea. My mother loved my husband and mom’s always seem to have a good BS meter. Now, I wasn’t quite as prolific as Loverville, and I don’t think I hit 194, but I came pretty close. Although if I was dating now, the private investigator would be on speed dial!
So on all of these dates, were you going out with “guys with potential” or just going out on dates with guys for the experience? Because I’ve tried online, I’ve been going out, and I just don’t see any potential. I think it’s going to have to happen more organically for me. Your husband sounds awesome!
Well….in all honesty, I had gotten married young, and when I divorced, I didn’t date for 5 years. Didn’t really even know what I wanted in a guy, just knew what I didn’t want! The 100+ dates were my way of forcing myself to get back into things, learning what I really wanted, and having some fun in the process. For the most part, I did meet some really great people and had a lot of laughs, but most would not go anywhere for me. By the time I met my husband, I was convinced I would never get married again. We dated over 5 years before getting married, because I wanted to make really, really sure.
Oh, and came up with some rules after “Creepy Guy”. 1. I had a specific email address for guys I dated, (no you don’t get my real email until you prove yourself). 2. NO ONE knew where I lived. I made my husband take me on like 20 dates before he got to know where I lived, (and yes, I had him checked out first). 3. No “alone” dates until I’m sure you’re not a psychopath. And ladies……in this wonderful world of technology, there is a way to ensure that you don’t have to take phone calls from guys who you dump. It’s called Google Voice. Only give out your Google Voice number to any guys you are dating, and if you have to dump them, just block the number! Super simple, no long-winded, “why won’t you return my calls” on the voicemail, and it gets them out of your life without having to deal with anything. I just love technology!
Just got my Google Voice number. See? The stuff I learn from you… it never ends!
Isn’t that my job? Wait, I thought I was your personal Macgyver! Hee, hee…..
Those rules are all pretty much the same as mine were. I ALWAYS went to a restaurant where the owner actually knew me very well and knew what I was doing so they could keep an eye on the situation for me. IF there was anything strange going on the owner would always check on me. It made things feel very safe, plus I always had a way out.
I love that you want your parents to set up an arranged marriage, there were times when I thought it would have been easier. I would bet a lot of women think that at one point or another. My family wants to do that for my baby brother but only because with 9 kids and LOTS of in-laws that fit right into our insane family, mandatory family gatherings get trickier and trickier so we decided we’d marry off my baby brother to some random lucky girl of our choosing so we could have a big family trip to Vegas (good excuse right)! Luckily my uncle did us a favor and decided to get married in Vegas in the next year so he’s off the hook (for now)!
AdventureBiz Babe’s story reminds me of a few of my own. I believe it was YOU who said “I need to start writing these down your dating life would make a great story.” Well if you choose to stick with your original thought you can just make up your own, look at it as research!? Not that you don’t have plenty of stories already ; )
Hold on, I’m still trippin’ that your baby brother is old enough to get married. Wasn’t he just in high school?
Yeah it’s kinda nutty! He’s 24 (which personally I think is too young but it works when you’re all joking around and trying to figure out how not to miss each other so much)! He’s a good mini music man too. He got ordained and performed our ceremony and everything, it was awesome! (I’ll send you some video when I get it there are some bits that you will totally appreciate).