Yikes! I can’t believe I haven’t posted all month!!! That said, you’ll be glad as to my reason… well at least AdventureBizBabe and Paige Turner will be. My guy friend of 15 years, sat me down on the beach and had a heart to heart with me. What did he say?
“RCG, you need to be on Match.com!”
I tried to argue for a minute, but there’s no arguing with him. He’s too smart, and any attempt to argue with him is futile. I aired my few concerns (sure it was many, but then, as he shot them down one by one, I kept it at the big few), and he “coached” me on how to successfully approach Match.
1. Do not write back to anyone I am not interested in.. just delete.
2. Do not lie on my profile or say what I think they want to hear. And DO write what I want.
3. Go on once a day, max. Set my time and that’s it. Do not treat this like a second job. It isn’t one!
So I have been following the rules. I only had one little “breaking” of # 1, but in my defense, it was Day 23 of my cycle, and Comcast Mark can tell you not to mess with me on day 23 (you’ll have to dig through the archives for that one). Here’s how it went down:
Contact #1 “Too good: You actually sound better than I could imagine. Yes……I just got here from NYC………let’s talk and see…kenny”
Contact #2 (He followed that up 15 minutes later with): “I had to write to you again. I really like your eyes and your face is expressive. Just wanted to let you know. More info is available on my website. Check _______ * on google. I’m the head guy. Kenny”
*had to leave that blank for privacy reasons, but his site is all about his medical practice.
Contact #3 (He followed that up an hour later with): “Confused I’m new to this thing. But I’m confused as to emailing potential matches. If I send you an email, you read it, but you never check out my profile, what was the sense? I know you read them, but you didn’t even write back to see if or who I really am. I became a doctor for many reasons and I live a great life now, but I am looking to have even more meaning. I’m from the NY suburbs too, and we live now really close. My real question is: if you met me and didn’t like me, well, I can understand that. But, you are on this site and we are here to meet some potential people that we can relate to …….so if you can explain your thought process, I would appreciate that I fo. Thans in advance…….and I still think you are very attractive and my type! Kenny”
So I wrote back later that night when I got back home and was doing my one hour a day max on Match, with: “Kenny, I have no idea if you are for real about being new to this, and wanting feedback. I’m going to assume you are, and grant your request. In the hopes that you meet a great woman, here’s my blunt truth:
1. I have no idea how it is that you concluded that I read your emails, as this is the first time I’ve been on the site today. You have written to me three times in the last 2 hours. In my opinion, that makes you either needy or pushy, both are qualities that are not attractive to me. So, for future reference, if you’re trying to attract women who like those qualities, keep doing what you’re doing. If not, once a day is enough, and no more than 3 emails if they don’t write back.
2. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve been on this site for just two weeks, in which time I’ve received over 400 emails from men. If I had to write back to every one of them, I’d have to quit my job. When I’m not interested, I don’t write back. I know many of my friends feel the same way.
3. I didn’t need to read your profile because your AGE pops up right next to your picture. My age range pops up right next to mine. Your AGE is 62. MY AGE RANGE is 40-50. See the discrepancy? I DON’T want to date a 62-year-old… period!
Therefore, Kenny, “the sense” of writing to women, is to take the chance that they will write back. It is not a guarantee. However, respecting their desires in a Match, will help your odds.
Also, the repeated mentioning of your being a “doctor” comes off as pompous to me. Again, some women may swoon at the thought, so don’t change a thing if those are the types of fish you’re looking to reel in.
Final piece of information: There is a feature where you can block people if you feel bothered by them. After I send this, I plan to use it. So, good luck with your search.”
Other than that, I had one strange phone call with a guy, who confessed to being 5 years older than my age range as well as having posted pictures from “days of yore.” Then he started asking personal sexual questions, which were completely out of line for a first conversation, at least they are in my opinion, as someone who is looking for a relationship. He’s history!
BUT… I did go on my first date and he was not only as adorable as his picture, he was also funny, interesting, smart, AND a gentleman. It was only a first date, so I know better than to get excited, BUT, I am still a little excited…
1) Let me say…..Yeah!!!!
2) “Guy friend of 15 years” rocks! His advice is spot-on!
3) Day 23 of the cycle can be hell….and watch out anyone in your way!
4) Make friends with the “Block” button
5) One very small piece of advice from the peanut factory here – This is all a numbers game. I know that when you are first on something like Match.com, it seems like there are a lot of people who are not suitable for you. But then again, think of all the people you meet in a year, and then how many would make it into the “maybe” column? You’re just taking the odds and compressing them into a smaller time frame with Match.com. You’re going to wade through a lot of people who will get sent straight to “trash”. That’s ok. That’s a necessary part of the process, but if you stick with it long enough, there will be more and more like the first date.
6) And once again……Yeah!!!!
Hey the first person I met on match was a GREAT guy and we had a really good time. In the end it didn’t work out but it wasn’t crazy or scandalous just two people enjoying each others company. In the end you can always try what I did. Give match a good run then just go to the mall and smile and a cute guy, maybe it’ll work for you too. I’m anticipating more posts about this adventure and I can’t wait! xox
That sounds like great advice. I’ll have to remember all this … soon; I haven’t started quite yet.
No doubt on the male side, I’ll be less inundated, but it’s a good point about not wasting time.
Some people just don’t get electronic communication. Kenny sounds clueless, glad there’s at least one member of our male species that wasn’t.
In any event, does this mean that we’re not going to go to the Long Beach Aquarium next time you’re in town? o.O
(Just joking, I’m 5’10 anyway … out of your range.)
It’s too bad, if we do ever met, I would have a question I was wondering your opinion on. I know this “crazy chick who writes a blog, and says that all men should …”
== John ==
P.S. I found my Money Line last week!
Ok, the P.S. came out wrong. I was trying to be funny … point was, I am getting in shape and getting ready … RCG’s advice has been great and I will use her posting advice to burst onto match.com 🙂 Thank you.
u rock ur class was wonderful
I would have recommended POF or Dateolicious over match.
I’m on POF now.