Okay, Lasana a vivacious dating and relationships expert and television host, called me out on Twitter. And she’s totally right. I asked for a dating expert and then said all the things I refused to do; no lists, no online profile… y’all know how I get when I’m ranting. How do I expect to attract different men and change who I’m being if I’m already creating rules of all the things I refuse to do? As Lasana said, she understands my frustration, “but internal work must be done.” She spent over a year researching and conducting focus groups with men and women to gain a better understanding of the question “Is The Single, Modern Woman Having A Difficult Time Finding A Husband?” so I should probably listen to her.
She wrote a piece called “If Engaged, Am I Still Single?” for her blog at: http://www.loveandlifeblog.com/ Oh if only I’d known her during the “Shady years” though something tells me she was still in high school then.
Well, you know what? I’m ready for a new fresh and young perspective, and I’m loving Lasana. So, if you are reading Dating Guru (that’s what I’m going to call you, Lasana, because all of my cool chicks get nicknames on the blog (see cast of characters), I welcome your advice, as would all of the gals reading this.
And just for the record, there are at least two other Superfriends with a history of fixer-uppers in their past… so bring it on. What do we do?
If you want me to create a list, I’ll create it and post it here. I’m not scared!!! Well maybe a little..
If you want me to create an online profile… I’ll do it! Oh Lord, did I just put that in writing? Dating Guru, I’m so afraid of internet dating.. I tried it for 3 days, got over 1000 responses, mostly from guys who clearly didn’t read my profile and then got off, because it was like a second job. Sister has had nothing but nightmares with online dating. The one friend I knew who actually got married to someone he met on Match, just had his wife up and leave him when he didn’t even know anything was wrong.
Oh, and while you’re giving out advice, is there an antidote for getting over your First Love from 20 years ago? Other than the drastic measures taken in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Or do I just take spectacular care of myself so I can outlive his wife and be reunited with him at 95 (I picked an old age because I don’t want anything to happen to her until then. I think at 95 she’ll be happy with the life she had.. of course if science makes some kind of life extending break through, I want her to keep living, hopefully by then you’ll have helped me find a great man anyway).
Okay Dating Guru, have at me…
OK, I know how you feel about online dating, but it can work. It’s where I met my husband, who graciously puts up with me, and makes my coffee in the morning, (even tho he doesn’t drink coffee). Yes, there are some good ones online, and we are very happily married.
With that said, how awesome are you that you are willing to put aside the fears and even post a list online? You rock!
Yea! RCG — I am so interested to hear what Lasana has to say. For funsies I’ve been peeking into the online dating pool again. Mostly because of morbid fascination and also because I think this is a great act of “allowing”. Although I think leaving the house might also be helpful and it’s entirely possible I’ll try the reverse stalking gig I recently read about in the Wall Street Journal. Yes, WSJ — check that out here… http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704608504576208743463921646.html
But I tangentilize — here’s what popped up on Chemistry.com today. This mornings dose of online dating site swill: 1) A butt picture for profile 2) Headline on another “I am an adventurer divorced against my will but willing to try again” 3) Headline: “Looking for my lost rib”. I quit. (this doesn’t even account for all the “matches” that don’t fit my profile specifications –I think I specifically said I prefer someone who is “fit” and only wanted to see profiles with pictures) . AND don’t even get me started on the “Hi, I am taking a picture of myself in bathroom mirror with my shirt off “– profile pics”. Really. You don’t have a friend to snap a shot for you? You don’t own a shirt? WTH? Presentation people — presentation. Reverse stalking it is – now I just need to find the time.
For now — a glass of vino it is. Cheers!…
First of all, I LOVE the name Dating Guru. I think it’s just so fitting. Thank you. I may start using that instead! So excited. 🙂
Glad to be able to assist you and your Superfriends find love on your way to happily ever after. One of the main things to remember is this is a journey. Like a roller coaster, there are lots of ups and downs, twists and turns, but at the end of the day it will be a thrilling ride. Enjoy it. One of my friends says, “I pray that my life will be anything but boring.” So many people just drag through predictable and mundane lives. This may be our only shot at the human experience. Live it to the fullest. Experience the highest highs and the lowest lows fully. Make them count.
As far as advice for you and your readers. Here are 3 blogs to get you started:
5 Suggestions To Get A Date
5 Tips For A Winning Online Profile
5 Ways To Experience True Love Now
For more personalized advice, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Wishing you the best in Love and Life,
Oh and as far as your first love is concerned. I too have a first love who is very near and dear to me. (He was engaged at one time, but now he’s single. Maybe there’s hope for us afterall. 😉 ) Several years ago, I also dated a man who I believed to be one of my soulmates. However he married another woman a few years ago. Sigh. So when I say I can relate, I definitely understand.
Relish the love you share with your first love. Create a small space in your heart for him and leave it there. People come into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime. Think about what his reason or season for being in your life brought you. What did you gain? Be grateful for it. Don’t erase the memories (like “Sunshine” movie). Those experiences made you who you are today. Not only do you have a better idea of what you are deserving from a true love, but also what characteristics or traits you desire in a life partner. Your first love was just the appetizer to the main course of the true love you are attracting. Don’t fill up on the appetizers when your true love entree is coming. Delicious.
Scrumplish, you’re an inspiration… keeping my fingers crossed as I get to day 5.
Sommelier, Those dating quotes are hysterical! I’ve been reading the guys’ “taglines” good lordie!
Lasana, I’m going for it 100%… I have a blog in my head aching to be written since you wrote the First Love comment.. it will have to wait until I get through my first 5 steps. It’s bubbling up though!!!
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