I have to admit. This was not the ideal day for this challenge and I promise to double my efforts tomorrow. I was up really late last night and then woke up early. The lack of sleep made me feel lethargic until noon when I fell asleep again until 4pm. So basically I “got out” twice today… to walk my dog. Location is everything. Being out with the dog, I only got to see the gardeners, the guy at the gate (who already tried to caress my hands when I brought him a plate of food during our neighborhood pool party), and a couple of guys in cars.
Because that was uneventful, and wouldn’t make a good blog post, I had to do something drastic… so I did. Sister is out on a date with a guy she met on ‘Plenty of Fish’ so I figured it was a good time to hijack her account and go fishing for some good headlines, since Sommelier had a bunch of funny ones in the comment section a few days ago.
All of a sudden something called Userplane AV Webmaster popped up and a guy called TheIdealPrince was chatting me up… At first I was going to get on his case for being 27 and trying to talk to my sister, but instead, I decided to be honest and the conversation went like this:
TheIdealPrince: heyy (that’s how he spelled it)
Me: I’m not her, I’m her sister doing research. Sorry.
TheIdealPrince: Oh, I’m sorry.
Me: No problem. How’s this site?
TheIdealPrince: I am always on call so it’s always on in the background. I don’t utilize it much. The girls are smart, diverse in background, not something you find in bars and clubs. (I’m sure at this point he was hoping I’d ask if he was a doctor, but I decided to assume that he was the assistant to some abusive producer who keeps him ‘on call’ since he lives in Burbank… and for someone who doesn’t utilize it much he sure knew a lot about the girls.)
Me: I’m in the South East so I’m a little scared of the “fish pond” in these parts.
TheIdealPrince: lots of crocodiles
Me: and manatees- gentle and harmless, but a little slow upstairs.
TheIdealPrince: Really? Never seen one.
Me: they look like a cross between a walrus and a whale, but I was using it as a metaphor (which I’d assumed he was doing with the crocodile comment, but apparently my whole “Plenty of Fish/fishing in the fish pond” went right over his head and he was truly concerned with my safety because of the swamp crocs. He then proceeded to Google manatees and try to get into a discussion about them, I had to change that subject quickly so…)
Me: My sister is out on a date with a guy she met on this site, so I figured it was a good time to hijack her account.
TheIdealPrince: How old are you if you don’t mind me asking
Me: I’m too old for you, but are you having any luck meeting people online? I have to put a profile up in 3 days according to my Dating Guru.
TheIdealPrince: I haven’t put in crazy effort. It’s so picture driven. There is no personality factor.
Me: You should try the site where you have to fill out 15 pages on yourself and you don’t get to see a picture until you’ve had 5 conversations.
TheIdealPrince: 15 pages? Can I just upload my personal statement from college?
Me: I should send in my Psychology Thesis on how people drive according to their personality. Then they’d get some good insight to my personality!
TheIdealPrince: LOL! It’s become quite difficult to meet people now.
Me: Tell me about it. I’ve been dating “Mac” he’s my laptop. Unfortunately he doesn’t cook. (There I go again, telling a guy that I’m dating my laptop. I am so corny, I really shouldn’t online date. But then again, I’ve thrown out the ‘dating my laptop’, my ‘weird psych thesis paper’ (which wasn’t an actual thesis, more like a final exam for a psych class), AND that I have a ‘dating guru’, and this guy’s still chatting with me)
TheIdealPrince: I’ll cook for you. (and now offering to cook for me)
Me: What’s your specialty dish?
TheIdealPrince: I cook any pasta.
Me: Gluten free pasta?
TheIdealPrince: Sure I follow recipes precisely
Me: Well you’re a smart guy, who can cook pasta, and is a good conversationalist. You seem like a good catch, so stop wasting your time with me and get back to ‘fishing’ good luck!
TheIdealPrince: But people don’t converse like you on here, so I guess I’ll just throw in the towel. (uh oh, RCG senses a fixer-upper, but can’t help herself!)
Me: I don’t think so. You don’t strike me as a quitter.
TheIdealPrince: haha damn your psych kicking in! (and he’s fixed. Phew!)
Me: That’s how I roll. It’s 1am here, so I’m signing off. Have a good weekend.
And I quickly shut down the page. I am dreading day 5 with a capital D! I’m truly terrified! I know I know… successful people feel the fear and act in spite of it, and if I want to be successful in love, I have to take action. Rats! Why can’t I just get a heel caught in a pothole and have a doctor save me from oncoming traffic and then we fall in love? Or can’t some guy holding up a 7eleven become my fairy godfather and send me to an alternate universe where I’m living the life I would have had if First Love and I never broke up? Or maybe I can blog on Ten Ways To Lose A Guy, and instead wind up with the guy I was trying to lose. There has to be a more random way to fall in love than online dating. And don’t think I’m not running my profile by y’all before I put it up! I expect feedback… We’re all in this together now!