I’m a romantic comedy girl, the Bachelorette is all about romance… so I get sucked in knowing FULL well how contrived and scripted it is. What I hate about the show is how complicated they make it, with the “Bentleys” and the drama and the insecurities. What I love about it are the one on one dates. What I hate about it is how they coach the guys to act hurt when they get voted off or to say in their confessionals all those lovey dovey things… or do they really feel that way? And if so, is there hope for the institution of marriage? Go with me here…
Let me preface this by saying this applies to all Bachelor/Bachelorette shows that I’ve seen which started with Trista (she was my first… tough act to follow), The NY Giants guy (had to, he was a NY Giant), the Firestone winery guy, Jake, Brad (the second time), and now Ashley. So, I’ve missed quite a number of seasons, but I got the gist.
As I said, I LOVE the dates, they’re the only part of the show I care about. I love the thought that goes into planning them so they are appropriate for the person being taken on the dates (even if it’s perfectly crafted by the producers). I love the locations, sure Thailand is beautiful, but I’d be perfectly happy on a dating tour of the good ole US of A.
I love the conversations they have, yes, I know, they were carefully cast so they’d have stories of hardship and growth, but don’t we all have these stories in our lives, and wouldn’t it be beautiful to share them with a guy taking me to my first honkey tonk in TX, or in an outdoor jacuzzi in the snow of Aspen, or deep sea fishing in the FL keys, or kayaking with the seals in La Jolla, CA?
I want a date where I have front row tickets to a Superbowl, and if it’s somewhere cold, my date has supplied us with toasty warm weather gear care of a personal shopping day. I want a date in the Hamptons where we cook Lobster in the sand.. I don’t even know how it’s done, but I was at a party in Malibu once, and they did it and it was cool.
I also want dates where I’m pushed out of my comfort zone, so when they’re over, we are exhilarated with adrenaline and closer than ever, like going in a cage with sharks around us… there, I’ve said it! I’d be scared as hell but I’d be a better person when the cage was pulled out of the water, and I was safe and sound. I don’t see the thrill in bungee jumping, but I would like a Zip line date…. again, it terrifies me, but I’d do it. And if I don’t get a boyfriend soon, I may just go on girl dates with AdventureBiz Babe, because she wouldn’t bat an eyelash at these…
I want the simple dates too… a picnic in New Mexico somewhere in nature, where perhaps we’d see wild horses run by.. do they have them in New Mexico? If not, a picnic in a state where there would be wild horses, or buffalo, not as appealing to the eye, but historical. A beach at sunset, someplace tropical, white river tubing in Oregon, a meditation retreat in Sedona.
To simplify it even more… how about a home-cooked meal by candlelight, with new dishes and new music, to make it feel like out of the ordinary in the ordinary. How about a date in a rainstorm, where we wash each other’s hair?
Have I been duped by the producers and the guys fighting for the love of Ashley? Or are there really still romantics out there? The way I see it, is if a guy loves romance as much as I do, and we both make a commitment to maintaining that romance for the rest of our lives… couldn’t there be a “happily ever after?” Is it so far fetched to think that these well-thougt-out dates planned by producers who’ve asked these guys a few page loads of questions, couldn’t be planned by two people who are spending enough time together to ask the same questions because they actually care about each other?
Yet, I can’t say that I hear my friends in relationships or married, bragging about their romantic dates. When does the disconnect happen? Almost EVERY girl who has been engaged has a romantic proposal story. Even Shady gets an A++ for his proposal arrangements.. he gave me my Pretty Woman moment.. literally, re-enacted it in a sense, down to the hotel balcony that Vivian hangs off of and the double doors that she runs through to jump on the bed… Only when I ran through the doors to jump on the bed, there was a heart made of rose petals with a ring in the center.
So much thought and planning goes into a proposal. What if even an 8th of that thought went into a date once a month? Isn’t there time for once a month?! Six times a year the girl plans the perfect date for her man and six times a year he plans the perfect date for her. TWELVE DAYS OUT OF THE YEAR?! Can’t it be done? Imagine connecting as deeply as Trista and Ryan once a month. I use them because they’re still happily married so I believe what happened on that show for them was real. You can think I’m a sucker, and I am… a sucker for romance.
I have to believe there’s the Yin to my Yang out there… somewhere, a man who wants to get a one on one date card from me every other month… someone, who wants to see my face light up when I open his one on one date card. If I could spend the rest of my life thinking of ways to make the man I love happy every day, ways to make him smile EVERYDAY, and he felt the same way about me… I’d be happy for the rest of my life.
And you know what? I won’t settle for less, even if it means I’m going to wind up a crazy old lady in a mental hospital, filled with delusions of romance, it’s better than the alternative… settling for second best. Nope, my soulmate is out there and we will find each other, and I will accept his rose…