Internet Dating… Let The Madness Begin

I’m writing this simultaneously as I’m doing my “online profile,” because already, RCG is in full effect! First, just to sign on, you have to fill out the letters you see in the box. Well I did this about 5 times to no avail, thinking FATE IS TELLING ME TO RUN.. when I read the fine print and discovered I was only supposed to write the letters under the circles.

So, now I’m in and I have to fill out my “questionnaire to meet my soulmate.” It said interested in… I wrote MEN. It said how tall… I wrote 5’11”, of course that is only a minimum and I was wondering why it didn’t have range.. which is when I realized it was asking for MY height.. ooops.

GEEZ it’s been 2 seconds and I did it again! It said looking for… I wrote “long-term” it said hair, and then gave a list of colors, well I wanted to choose more than one… oops they meant MY hair color. What is wrong with me? I may have to write ‘slightly stupid’ if there’s an “intelligence” question.

HA! I just selected “I’m am serious and want to get married”… hmmm now that I write that, a little anxiety is coming up. Hold on…

Okay, just changed that to “I am putting in serious effort to find someone.” Okay, I can live with that.

Just wrote the whole profile and it was LOOOOOOOONG, only to discover that a lot of what I wrote, was supposed to be answered in “interests” and “ideal first date.” I tried to post a picture of only my eyes, since I’m technically a fictional character and they won’t let me post a cartoon. So instead I posted a picture of me way in the distance.

Oooo, I just had my first guy write.. here’s what he has to say:


I just read your profile and really liked it. I believe all that matters in life is your family, friends, and that one person you truly fall in Love with and marry, everything else is an illusion and means nothing in the end.

I really like to travel, I have been all over the world to work on business and of course vacation and explore. I also really like to cook, I think there is nothing better than making dinner together, have some appetizers, drink my amazing homemade red wine, and eat by candlelight. Yes, I am a bit of a romantic, and I am not ashamed of that at all.

I think we have a lot in common, so tell me more about you. πŸ™‚ Your family, career, how do you like the insane world of online dating? LOL!


P.S – I know you are use to much more heartfelt messages like “Hey wanna chat?” LOL! Sorry, I am not like most men who are morons and have no clue on how to treat a woman, I do know how.
I deleted his name, because it’s not important, what IS important is the line I put in RED, you see, C did NOT read my profile, if he had, he would have seen that I told him to write something very specific, when writing to me. I did this because I don’t want form letters like this one. Hmmphf!.. Wait.. here comes another one.

Okay, I’m not going to share that one, because it was utterly confusing! And in addition he added me to his favorites.. it’s too soon for that!

Another guy just sent a “wants to meet you.” Again, couldn’t have read my profile, or he would see that I’m not meeting anyone without some correspondence first.

Okay my iPhone keeps buzzing, I’m starting to freak out. It’s not even like they have a good picture to look at. I’m like the “Jeff” of the Bachelorette, only without the Phantom music. Of course that totally backfired on him because he was a dud. I see this as the opposite, when a guy takes an interest in the really good profile I wrote, and doesn’t have a good photo to go on, he will be ecstatic… so this should be interesting!

I’ll keep you posted…


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6 Responses to Internet Dating… Let The Madness Begin

  1. AdventureBiz Babe says:

    Ummm…in your profile, where it says what kind of man you are interested in……does it have a box to tick for “must be able to read”? Jeez…..did he really think women would fall for that?

  2. Page Turner says:

    Oh how this bring back memories. You went through it with me so it’s only fair I’m supportive of you! I have to say when I first started I was really strict about my rules (couldn’t be shorter than x height, had to have x qualities etc). I think a friend talked me into sending a note to a guy who was a little outside of what I was looking for and I ended up dating him for about 4 or 5 months. We had a blast and he had some really great qualities that I was able to realize I should be looking for and hadn’t been. My point is in the beginning be strict about it but also realize that just because someone is 5’10 shouldn’t take them out of the running, you might meet someone really special. In the end the internet dating didn’t work out for me but man did I have FUN!!

  3. Dating Guru says:

    Congrats on getting into the world of online dating. It can be very overwhelming and frustrating at times, but keep in mind it’s no more so than in the real world. Have patience and just be open. The best is yet to come. πŸ™‚

  4. Ray says:

    Isn’t the concept of internet dating terribly anachronistic in a romantic comedy world? I would have thought “fate” and an intrepid attitude would be much more fitting for such a woman.

    I tried internet dating a few years ago and it just seemed too fake or superficial to me. My major problem with it all was that there was NOTHING at stake. If I’m interested in a woman I see in a bar, at a party or on the street I have to screw up my courage and confidence to speak to her. (I’m not a shaker and a groover.) And the woman needs to put herself on the line to give me an answer, one way or the other.
    With internet dating there’s absolutely nothing at stake. You have some free time? make a date with some guy, see what you get. I took a woman to a wrap party, she was an aspiring actress so she spent the evening trying to palm up the producers and directors. Then left early to go to another party. Took a photographer to a Steve Earle show, she left during the encore. I wasn’t about to. One just wanted me to wire up her new Tivo and TV. Actually dated a writer for awhile, we went on trips together, I met her friends, we went to parties she was invited to, and we had some seriously good sex and sleep overs. At her house. But all the time she kept telling me she didn’t want a boyfriend. I’m fine with that, I’ve done the boy toy thing before, though this was a bit more extensive. I guess she wanted FWB. But the thing that floored me was she pulled a Blaine. Stopped returning my phone messages, emails, wouldn’t answer the door if she was home; just disappeared. I knew she was still around and functioning, she was teaching at NYU. But there was no explanation, no reason for the end, no “You suck,” nothing. Because she had nothing on the line when she started the “relationship.”
    Plus, on the internet it’s just so easy for people to lie. Or enhance the truth.
    I could actually be an obese 86 year old grandmother.

    Ah, jeez. What a run of the mouth! I should start my own blog! Sorry.

  5. Have you not seen You’ve Got Mail? Internet dating is perfect for romantic comedies because of all the comedy that unfortunately comes along with it! Recently Sister had a guy write to her on a site where he shared 2 photos… one with short hair (he looked cute in that one) and one with long 80’s hairband hair (he looked like a reject from the band Europe in that one). When she asked him which one was recent, he refused to answer… so she refused to continue that online conversation!

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