So, the dating site informed me that it’s been a week since I signed up, and I must say there’s been little movement. I even changed my headline to Mr & Mrs Smith which did get 3 responses despite me not having a picture.

But I just did it.. I uploaded a picture. It’s an experiment. Not one of my typical fabulous headshots…. just a pic of me in a cowboy hat and a Yankees tank top, sunglasses so I can pretend it’s not me if someone recognizes me. And I’ll give this profile another week. If no bites, I’ll change it to something less romantic, more ball busting and we’ll see if they like that better.

MR & MRS SMITH

Love that movie! And there is the distinct possibility that I’m in fact a spy, but if I told you I’d have to _________…

I am at that lucky time in my life, where all the good men who were married while I was in my 20’s & 30’s are now divorced, and know what they want when looking for a relationship. So, for all of you good men out there, please read carefully, and don’t write to me if you’re not interested in reading my profile.

What I like… I’ve been writing romantic comedies for two decades, and like my characters, I want the happy ending AND I want the romance that leads up to the happy ending to last a lifetime… in other words, after the movie ends, and our heroes are on their own… I want all the good stuff to keep going.

Those dates that you see on the Bachelorette.. wait, I’m not sure I want a guy who watches the Bachelorette.. well, I suppose it’s okay if it’s for research. I want those kinds of dates, the kind that have been thought through specifically to make your partner happy. Oh, yes, I want a partnership, so I am equally excited to create magical dates for you. Now, not every date has to be a major production, I believe that romance can be found in the most simple and unexpected circumstances. So, just so I know that you’re actually reading this, let’s play the Dating Game… If you write to me, please tell me your idea of a romantic date, and you need not include the word whoppie… and if you’re too young to get that reference, you’re too young to date me.

It suggests I talk about my hobbies.. I love watching sports, especially live, but a comfy couch with a big screen TV will do. I love to be on the water in a boat, fishing is a bonus… being with a guy who knows how to clean a fish and cut it into sushi would be a super bonus! I love going to the movies… except horror, Freddy Krueger shows up in my dreams once in a while, and it’s creepy because I don’t know if he’s real, and I just can’t take a chance. So no more SAW people need to be added to my unconscious mind. I love dogs, especially BIG dogs. I love spa days, yoga, meditation, vacations to tropical places. I’d really like to see the beauty of states like Colorado, Montana.. actually any state in the USA. I’m not terribly adventurous, but I’d love a guy who is, with whom I feel so secure that I feel safe being adventurous. Adrenaline junkies need not reply. Not looking to fall in love with a guy who may kill himself doing something that has a warning in a Jackass movie.

My favorite comedy is Anchorman, I also love the Hangover, so if that’s you’re humor.. we’re good. I was never into comic books or dungeons and dragons, but if you’re a guy who in high school was totally into that and girls never noticed you, and you did really well in school, and then somewhere after graduation, started growing into a handsome guy who girls were noticing, and you weren’t sure why.. that’s a good sign for me. On the other hand, if you were a stud in high school, and your love for yourself continues to grow, we’re probably NOT a fit, but I’ll know that because you’ll be the guy with no shirt on in your profile picture.

Talk about my goals… I have my own business, and it’s pretty virtual, so I can work from anywhere. My goal is to maintain that freedom. I know that dating divorced men with kids, means having a home base, close to the kids, or with the kids, if they live with you. That’s fine, as long as you understand that I do travel for my work, and you’re cool with that. I also have a goal to have 3 vacation homes. I have a clear picture of them in my mind.. one’s tropical, one’s in the snowy mountains, and one is more desert-y-like Sedona or somewhere in New Mexico.

My music will probably weed a lot of guys out… I was an 80’s hairband girl, still love my Bon Jovi, Poison, and Metallica, but in the last year I’ve gotten deeply immersed in Country music. Any genre of music that can get excited about having “a weekend full of nothing to do at all.. Yeehaw” just sounds so relaxing to me. So, yes, this girl, born and raised in NY, has discovered her hillbilly bone… and I play it in my hybrid car… LOUDLY.

Are you still reading? Wow, I’m impressed.. oops, I just peeked ahead and I think I answered some of the questions in here.. so I’ll quit now, and move on…. but first, I spent a year doing Gracie Jiu Jitsu with Rorian Gracie and his two sons.. just a fun fact.

PS MY WONDERFUL READERS:

In the time it took me to cut and paste that profile I have received 5 emails from men. It’s the picture. Dang it! Hold on, let me check these dudes out and give you a report..

GOOD FRIGGIN’ LORD… I need to smack all these men around! Or maybe it’s me. If you read my profile above and did not see where I asked them to answer a specific question then please tell me, because I think it’s glaringly clear! And a “Hi, I like your profile” is not an adequate “reach out.”

Oh who cares. These guys all claim to be in their forties yet they look like grandfathers or recent ex-cons. So bottom line, I’m not getting a date off of this site! But I may get some entertaining blog material, so I’ll stick with it a little longer…

Is it wrong to write back to a guy who is clearly in his late 50’s and say, “43? Really? I call bullshit!”

PPS I think Steve Carell’s twin brother just wrote to me, only by the looks of his profile, he doesn’t have Steve’s attractive sense of humor. I better say goodbye to you ladies. I can tell that by adding a picture, I can probably keep adding updates all night!