I get my astrology for the week sent to me on Sundays. If I like it, I keep it in my inbox only to discover it months later when I clean out the 900 emails that need to be deleted. Usually something like Mars is squaring myanus I mean Uranus, which means nothing to me.. Then it tells me a legal issue is going to need my attention on Friday so that’s when I hit delete. I get a daily reading of 3 tarot cards for my creativity delivered to my inbox. Lately, it seems repetitive, which means I either really need to focus on my creative project or there’s only so many things you can say in regards to general creative tarot card readings. I used to be superstitious about fortune cookies. If I didn’t like the fortune, I didn’t bite the cookie. If I liked it, I bit the cookie, but just one bite… wasn’t a fan of the taste of fortune cookies.
My dreams are another story. I’ve always remembered my dreams vividly. Sometimes I can instantly translate them. Sometimes I have to share them with others and through the telling, get clarity. Sometimes I have no idea what they mean. Sometimes I wake up haunted by them. And other dreams I wish were real.
The mysteries of astrology, tarot, palm readers, fortune cookies and crystal balls, are very alluring for a romantic like me. It’s not just that I want my happily ever after, it’s that I want the guarantee that I will get it. I look for patterns (every palm reader has told me I already know the man I’m going to marry), I look for signs (when I’m on the right path I always see my totem animal), I look for meaning (dreaming about someone means he’s dreaming about me too and we’re together in another ‘realm’).
But really, if I want reassurance that my happily ever after is out there, I don’t need any of that stuff. All I need to do is go back to the source, back to the place that put the idea of a happily ever after in my mind to begin with. My favorite place in the world… a movie theater.
Today started with an error of judgment. I decided to meet a group of women from a book club I’d joined but not attended yet, for a movie. The movie was Sarah’s Key. I knew nothing about it. That was my error in judgement. I heard Kristin Scott Thomas, and thought how bad could it be? It wasn’t bad, quite the opposite, but I don’t go to the movies to get depressed. I see those movies at home when I choose. But not the theater. The theater is my place of worship, where I go to disappear for two hour into a world of romance, or laughter, or action, or science fiction, but not horror, and not movies about people who die. To this day I refuse to watch Beaches. The first time I saw Terms of Endearment, I cried for 3 hours straight and didn’t recover for days. I know this happens everyday. I know this is life. But for the two hours that I’m in my house of worship, I want to be uplifted, taken to a new world, or longing for the love that two romantic comedy heros find by the end, after a false ending.
I had to recover from this movie. It had me moping around all day. I decided I had to see another movie, but I was not in the mood to go out. So I checked out OnDemand and found a gem. I’ve seen it 4times already, but I love it. The Town, directed, co-written, and starring Ben Affleck. I truly love this movie. Not only is it a great cops and robbers flick, but the love story in it always get to me because they are from such different worlds, and yet they fall for each other. A rom com wasn’t enough to pull me out of the funk. I needed more, and The Town delivered.
If I ever do get married, I think I’d like to be married in a movie theater. Ideally, my love story will be so interesting that I can make it into a film, screen the film for my friends and family and just as the last scene appears on the screen with the groom waiting at the alter for the bride to walk down the isle, the lights go up in the theater, and I surprise my audience with the reveal of my groom waiting for me under the screen, and we finish the movie with a live ceremony and a kiss that will continue on forever.
And we live happily ever after…
With a screening room in our house!
Well, this is very old stuff i suppose, but if Tarot cards repeat, they are important. These are things which don’t change with subtle differences. They pretty much keep beating you over the head til you get it.