… No, I don’t mean that in a dirty way. I’m serious! We women need help. I know this because the single Superfriends and Sister are all out there dating, and it’s perplexing. Yes, yes, times have changed since elementary school when a boy liked a girl and he asked her to be his girlfriend and it was understood that they would pass notes to each other (this was before kids got smart phones) and eat together at the same lunch table.

Times were simple then. Communication was pretty obvious- he liked you or he didn’t. Even if he sent his friend over to break up with you at the lunch table, the message was clear.

Now there’s no clear message. It’s no longer “Yes” or “No” it could be “Word” or “For Shizzle” or “Forget It” or “Nak.” Women have been conditioned that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, in other words, we speak two different languages.

So, if this is true, we need some input from the men. Ladies, this is a call to action. Share this with your guy friends so we can get some answers.

I was going to title this blog: Kissing At The Table AKA Hi Beautiful, Bye Sexy

The reason being, there seems to be 2 unreadable guy trends happening. Here they are in no particular order:

1. The Quick Kiss: This can happen in many places; the car, 5 minutes after he’s picked you up, the movie theater during the commercials before the previews, and most commonly ‘the table’ as in the lunch table, dinner table, substitute bar if you meet for drinks and don’t sit down at a table.

The quick kiss tends to go something like this. You’re sitting at the table (on a first date) looking at a menu, and after only 5 minutes, he leans in and gives you the “quick kiss” and exclaims, “I just had to do that.”

This is seriously a trend, and it’s leaving girls wondering, ‘what does that mean?’ Does it mean he is just so attracted to you he can’t bare going through an entire date and walking you to the door like a gentleman, then waiting the awkward moment as you both wonder if it’s too soon to kiss, but then you do? Or does it mean that he just wants sex because he thinks your hot? Or does it mean he’s a sex addict who can’t control his compulsions?

BTW: side note for all you guys who are reading this. THIS is really the kind of conversations that girls have with each other. I know it makes us sound like we’re crazy, but we’re not. We’re just analytical and feel the need to analyze every moment of a date with our girlfriends. It’s a bonding process. The problem is, every girlfriend has a different opinion of what the “moment” meant, and I’m willing to guess, that they’re probably wrong, and it’s far less complicated than we make it. So please chime in…

2. Texting/Mix Messages: This was one I experienced with FWB a lot, and considering I’ve been out of the dating world so long, I had no idea that this problem was running rampant. When a girl starts dating a guy, she wants to hear his voice, she wants to feel important, so she likes to talk on the phone or in person. Texting… not so much. Yet, it seems like a reality, so let’s address two common comments: 1. Hi, Beautiful and 2. Bye, Sexy.

Normally, I would tell a friend, “That’s great, he’s thinks you’re beautiful and sexy.” But apparently the majority of texting males out there are throwing around these “hello” and goodbyes” and then never texting again.

My question is what is the point of those two terms. Do you really think the girl is beautiful and sexy? If not, why are you saying it? And if so, doesn’t saying it right after a first date cheapen it? Or cheapen her for that matter.

Yes, women want to feel sexy and beautiful, but when you guys throw those words around right out of the gate, it makes us suspicious rather than flattered. We start using words like “playa” you feel me?

I know, I know, guys tell me all the time, tell your friends not to read into it so much… but how much is “so much”? And can’t we simplify things by going back to the notes from grade school? I say, after a first date, the girl gets to hand a boy a note that reads:

DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK ONE  (  ) YES   (  ) NO  (  ) I like your bff

©2011