First of all, HOW CUTE IS IT? Second of all, let’s talk about boobs. I’ve got big ones! You? It really doesn’t matter what size you have, the bottom line is, when you try to sleep on your stomach, you’re not flat. Obviously, the bigger your boobs, the higher you are off the mattress. I’m suddenly struck by how un-sexy I must look when I sleep. Like a tortoise with a long tail. (okay that was a really weird image).
Anyway, the point is, I was tired of smashing my boobs every night in hopes of getting a good night sleep. I was lucky enough to have a friend/masseuse who is a total chickpreneur! She invented this pillow and had me try it out for her. Not only is there a cut-out for the boobies, it also tapers down at the bottom to comfort your lower back.
I want to take my boobie pillow everywhere! I want to dress it in a bathing suit cover and take it to the beach so I can stop digging boobie holes in the sand so I can lie down comfortably. I want to dress it in lingerie so when I sleep over at a guy’s house (WHAT? It could happen… someday) he can go to sleep with the image of lingerie and lingerie and if he’s had a little to drink, can perhaps be convinced he’s had a threesome. I want to dress it in polka dots, so when I babysit for my friends’ kids I can nap with them on the floor instead of having to nap upright in a chair.
And PMS week… a breeze with the boobie pillow because it’s one size fits all boobies and let’s face it, we each have two sizes- normal and PMS size.
I wonder if I can dress it in black spandex and take it to yoga so when we do all the stomach poses that I usually skip because it hurts my boobies and my hip bones, I can do yoga on my boobie pillow! I think I’m going to start a new trend in yoga. The block, the blanket, and the boobie pillow!
I just had an idea! Grown-up Girlie Slumber Party! Girls, grab your boobie pillows and have a slumber party! Don’t you miss those? Think about it. When you were 9 you were on your sleeping bag, flat on your stomach with your knees bent, feet in the air, waiting with anticipation to hear what happened in a game of spin-the-bottle at recess the day before. How much better will the stories be now? And you know they will be because you read this blog, so you’ve got some va va voom in you…
I remember when I was at a slumber party for my friend’s 10th birthday and as we were going to sleep, her mom came down to the basement AKA playroom to tell us all that one of the girls was a sleepwalker and should she sleep walk NOT to wake her up because she could become violent and has super strength. I’m sure those were not her exact words, but that’s how my young brain interpreted it. Needless to say, I got NO sleep that night because I was terrified. Far more terrified from the thought of my super strong friend raising sleepwalking havoc on all of us, than from the ghost stories we were all telling.
At another friend’s sleepover, she informed us that her dead grandmother lived in her closet (the closet that my sleeping bag was positioned directly next to). She told us we didn’t need to be scared because her grandma was there to watch over her family. And the way she knew that her grandma was in the closet was because after her grandma made her first appearance, my friend went down to breakfast, told her parents about it, got her mom (who’s mother it was) very upset, until she told them about the cute pajamas that grandma was wearing. Apparently they were the new pajamas her mom had bought for grandma to wear in the hospital the night she died, so my friend had never seen them. This was verification that in fact, grandma was ghosting in the closet and the whole family was very happy about it… I was not thrilled and again didn’t sleep.
Hmmm… rule for the Grown-UP Girlie Slumber Party… no scary stuff! Just talk about funny things your kids do, interesting sex positions you want to try, and hot movie stars.
Okay so I tangentilized a bit. The bottom line is, every girl should have a boobie pillow. I love mine, and they’ve finally come to market. So check them out and if you want to have a boobie pillow slumber party… I’m in!
ps. I think the site may have just launched… CONGRATULATIONS!!!!