Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?

Posted on November 18, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

Disclaimer: Not exactly romantic comedies, but bear with me. I was watching Chase on NBC, when US Marshall Annie Frost, goes to a prison to get help from a murderer she put away, Mason Boyle (played by Travis Fimmel). So here she is talking to this killer, and I’m like, “Dang, he is sexy! He could probably convince me to drive his get-away car.” And how about Sons of Anarchy? I’m crazy for Jax, yet terrified of him! It would be fine if it was just a tv fantasy, but I must admit, the bad boys find me like moths to light and I can’t resist them!

They’re like picking scabs; I know I’m not supposed to, I know it will bleed and leave a scar, but it’s like a compulsion… I must pick the scab. It’s like they have radar for me. They know I’m going to “pick them.” And like the scabbed wound, they aren’t there for long, but what is it about them that’s so irresistible?

They have all the qualities that turn me off in guys: 1. They fight in bars 2. They drink too much 3. They smoke 4. They don’t have respectable jobs (in other words they do illegal things to make money) 5. They break laws (I freak out about jay walking) 6. They own and usually carry weapons 7. Their associates are dangerous people 8. Tattoos 9. They cuss A LOT…

I can go on and on. Yet they also share qualities that most “good guys” don’t have: 1. Inch deep, 6 pack abs 2. Hair; on their head, usually scruffy and messy, good for pulling on 3. Chin scruff about a 1/4 inch long 4. Look amazing in jeans, which they wear low to show off their “Money Line” AKA: love line, moneymaker, Marky’s mark, the Michelangelo muscle, but you might know it as the twin cords of ligament stemming from the hip that directs our attention where it will do the most good 5. A raspy, or deep sexy voice that they know how to use 6. Piercing, hypnotizing eyes 7. Devilish smile 8. A vehicle that just screams rebel like a Harley or a pick up truck 9. Did I mention the Money Line? 10. An intuitiveness about good girls and a Darth Vadar desire to turn them to the dark side.

Why? Why am I so drawn to them when I’m supposed to be searching for my romantic comedy guy?

© 2010

 

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

A good reason why I need a man!

Posted on November 18, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

In Los Angeles we have giant roaches, not the little ones that you see on TV… Big ones.. Big.. HUGE! In Florida they even have a designer name for them: Palmetto Bugs. They are roaches! They are usually outside, but three days ago, I spotted one on my kitchen counter and after I screamed (and the dogs came running) I caught him under a glass.

Well he’s still there.. on my counter… under the glass. Every time I go in there, I forget he’s there, see him and jump. I don’t know what to do with him. I believe a manly man would know what to do. I think that’s a pretty good reason to have one around. But for now, it’s just me and the roach, who I’m getting pretty close to naming Earl, and you know what happens when you name them, right? You can’t kill them. And then Earl will be my pet… oops I think I just officially named him.

Welcome to my world, Earl.

© 2010

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , | Leave a comment

First Love Never Dies

Posted on November 16, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

At least not for this romantic comedy girl. I never got over my first love. We wanted different things; I wanted a career and he wanted a wife who would stay home with the kids, cook his meals and clean. We were together for 4 years, I have no idea what made him thing he was going to turn me into “that” woman.

So we broke up. It’s awful breaking up when you’re still in love. Through the years, whenever things have started to go sour with a boyfriend, I knew it was time to end it when I started dreaming of FL (first love). I also knew it was a bad sign when I’d start Googling his name and trying to find current pictures of him.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to him in 16 years, when out of the blue, he contacts me on LinkedIn. Amazing how seeing his name in my inbox, after 16 years, immediately made my heart hurt. I was freaking out. I wrote him back, and he wanted to talk on the phone and catch up… TALK ON THE PHONE! I thought I might throw up. Then I talked myself down, knowing he was now married with kids, and enough time had passed that we could have a mature conversation. He was set to call me the next day and I was in a panic the whole time waiting for his call.

And then it came. And you know what? It was very mature, and we did catch up and it was nice… it was fine. But then when it came up that I was going to be in NY he asked if we could have lunch. Maturely I said, “Fine.” Enter best friend and sister both telling me this was a HORRIBLE IDEA. But I knew that nothing was going to happen. One thing that will never happen in romantic comedy girl’s story is cheating, either on the guy she’s with OR with a guy who’s with someone else. So I figured it would be harmless.

I figured wrong. Oh, it was harmless enough as far as all we did was talk and pick at our food, but the after effects were anything but harmless on me. But after a few days of coming to terms that I will always love this guy and that it just wasn’t meant to be, I decided, he was right. We could be friends and stay a part of each other’s lives.

WRONG AGAIN! A few weeks later he was in LA, and we decided to maturely get together again. I spent the day driving him around, showing him my favorite spots and my life in LA. We even stopped at a mutual friend’s house so she could see him and how maturely I was handling the whole situation, which I was until…

I drove him back to his hotel and we went for drinks in the bar. Don’t get worried, I don’t drink, so no vows were broken. But he did drink, and he said things to me that just ripped me up inside. He had no idea how badly he was hurting me. It felt like the scenes in The Notebook, when Allie had a husband and she spent the day with Noah (minus the sex in our case). I think that’s why I love that movie so much. I think it reminded me of FL. So, I finally left, and I cried for the entire hour ride home. I even felt nauseous because I felt that even having that conversation with him was wrong.

Sidebar: By the way, his wife has a full time job, HE does the cooking, and a nanny takes care of their kids… figures!

We tried to stay friends after that, he was helping me with something professional, when out of the blue after a week or so, he just stopped emailing and texting. I certainly wasn’t going to initiate, so 7 months of nothing. While the first encounter took me a few days to get over, this took about two months.

Then yesterday, I hear my iPhone sound for “you’ve got a text message” and when I check my screen, FL’s name is what I’m staring at. For 30 minutes I didn’t even check the text. I was in shock. Why now? When I finally broke down at read it (did I mention I was at my best friend’s house?) he said he was going to be in town and would I like to have Sushi Saturday night. Best Friend said NO! (did I mention that best friend and sis said no, last time too? And that they were right?). So I didn’t write him back… until the next day.

That’s when I had a vote: Heart said YES, Head said NO, Stomach had to be the tie-breaker. Damn it! Stomach can’t say no to sushi, Stomach said YES… and so did I. So now I will have knots in my stomach until Saturday, my brain will keep searching for why I’m torturing myself, and not come up with any answers that will cause me to change my mind, and my heart will be broken once again. Bummer!

©2010

 

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Yard Sales Bring the Most Interesting People

Posted on November 14, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

Before I begin, let me just inform you that on tonight’s pjs, there are now two huge guacamole stains. Something tells me this is going to be one of “our things;” me reporting to you what stained my pajamas on a regular basis. After showing my blog to my best friend, it started a 3 hour conversation which revealed that soon I will have to introduce you to romantic comedy girl’s sidekicks.

For now, let’s discuss my yard sale. I’ve only done a yard sale once maybe twice in my life at the prodding of my ex. It always seemed like a waste of my time. For the amount of time you sit there compared to the amount you actually make, it is not a good use of my time. But a recent rain spree in Los Angeles, kept me inside for a few days, so I decided to clean out every room/closet/drawer, in my house. I ended up with an entire room filled with stuff. I decided to have a yard sale, but with all of that stuff I went with the indoor/outdoor yard sale (okay, I didn’t want to have to get up at 5am to set up for the diehards who come at 7am even though your signs say 9). So I set up everything in my two front rooms.

These yard sale people are pros! One person asked me if I had change for a hundred, and while I was counting out the change, switched the hundred to a ten, and left before I realized what had happened. I’ll let the karma king handle that one! I couldn’t believe how many people showed up! Some where giving me tips on how to make sure no one stole my jewelry, while others used their Jedi mind-tricks to confuse me about how much I said things were once they had a bag full of stuff. I hope they felt good about themselves as they walk away with their bargains (aka steals!), like I do when I find great deals at Nordstrom Rack.

There’s a culture in there too. They know each other and have a language. Some have a system, for their manipulations and mind tricks. But one man came alone. He showed up on his motorized scooter, the fancy one that you see on the infomercial which teaches you how to get your insurance to pay for it. He didn’t want to pay more than a nickel for things. What am I going to do with nickels? I can’t even get a gum ball for a nickel! Then, he has the nerve to open my gate, go in my kitchen, and call me in to ask me how much for my bag of raw cashews and dried apricots. DUDE!!! Seriously? Get out of my kitchen! Not only did I have to be rude to get him to put my food down since I had to explain 4 times that it wasn’t for sale, but now I kinda wish I sold it to him because I’m too grossed out to touch the bags. I’m going to have to Purell them before I open them. One guy who came early and used his voodoo on me, came back later with a bracelet that he said I charged him $35 for because it was real gold and he wanted his $35 dollars back, because it wasn’t, even though it said 14K on it. $35 dollars?!?!? I didn’t charge anyone that much for anything the whole day! He tried going down to $25 and then $15. I didn’t give him any money back! Take that Voodoo man! Although at that point I was alone and was a little afraid of him, but I stood strong, knowing 5lb book on astrology was only a foot away. I could clock him with it. I was planning the whole scenario in my head as he was spewing Jedi-voodoo talk.

Then I had to take a nap! Who knew a yard sale could be so exhausting. AND I have to do it again tomorrow. Whose idea was it to have it two days in a row?….. mine ….  Especially, now that all of the good stuff is gone. I’m going to have to figure out a way to make books, picture frames, and half used candles sexy.

And to top it all off, none of my cute neighbors came. What’s up with that? I had a football and pair of boxing gloves right out front to entice them. They must have known the freaky scene it was going to be.

©2010

 

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Movie Review MORNING GLORY

Posted on November 12, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

I saw Morning Glory last night. It was so good. Rachel McAdams is so cute, adorable, endearing, fun… I can go on and on. Romantic Comedy Girl gives it 5 diamond tiaras (that’s the max)

I identified so deeply with the main character Becky, who sacrificed a social life, sleep, and pretty much everything but work. When her mentor gave her a glimpse of what her life would be like in the future if she continued at her pace, it was like I was being punched in the gut.

In addition, I saw the screening with my younger sister and her new boyfriend who looks and sounds like Grant Show (go sis!!!). Every time something cute happened in the movie, her hand which he was holding throughout the film, would be gently lifted to his lips for a kiss. So cute… so romantic… sooooo back to me. I really need to stop being “Becky” and cool off my relationship with Mac. Although Mac has been there for me since my breakup with my fiance two years ago, I’m realizing that it is unhealthy and flat out “denial” to brag about a relationship with my laptop.

I’ll just say it. I’m ready. I’m more than ready. I want a man in my life. I’m tired of being alone. It’s more than that though. I’m ready to share my life with someone. I want to wake up next to a man every morning who inspires me. I want a passionate, successful, handsome, sexy, man! I’m ready to be someone’s partner. I sound so mature, don’t I? But it’s true what Becky said, that when she got good news her “guy” was the one she wanted to share it with. I miss that. I miss wanting to share my triumphs with someone I love.

©2010

 

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I Get My Morning Motivation at 3:47pm

Posted on November 10, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

I’m still in my pajamas. Yes, I wear pajamas and they’re not sexy, because what would be the point? And please spare me the “you should want to feel sexy for yourself,” because I don’t. I’m a Scorpio, I don’t need to dress up for myself to feel sexy… I’m the sign of sex. So here I sit at my computer with my tomato stained pajamas, because like everything lately; working, sleeping, watching TV, and eating, I’ve been doing it on my couch. Did I mention I have a $7000 mattress in my bedroom? So, my melted cheese with tomato ended up on my pjs, as did half the water from my sink a I washed my dish. What is it with me and dishes and why can’t the water stay in the sink instead of on my clothes? But I digress…

Bottom line… I’m terrible at living alone. And despite the warm body that wakes me up every morning at 7am (don’t get excited SHE is a Saint Bernard), the lack of conversation makes me a little nutty. So nutty, that sometimes I don’t leave my house for days. Today I changed a meeting that I made for myself so I’d have to get out of the house, to a phone call. It only took 10 minutes which was by far more time efficient than driving back and forth (40 minutes) chit chatting (55 minutes) and actually discussing work (proven 10 minutes). But still, it was the lack of motivation to get off the couch. A few days ago, I was so content on my couch that when the electrician came over, I simply slipped into my Ugg boots and my oversized Gap sweater and let him in. Good thing I had the decency to brush my teeth, because a few hours later, a ran out of the house in a rush to get to my friend’s house, to realize upon arrival that I was STILL in my pajamas, under my big ‘ole sweater. Yeah… nutty. I suppose I should work on getting motivated before 3pm, but I’m just not motivated to. Ah, dilemmas. Now before you start worrying about me, I’m not depressed. I’ve seen the commercials I’m not hurting “everyone,” it doesn’t hurt “everywhere,” I’m just really comfortable snuggled in my blankets with my dogs and everything I need within a few feet. Besides, tomorrow I’m going to see Morning Glory, so romantic comedy girl will be VERY motivated at 5pm tomorrow!

©2010

 

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The AGE OLD question

Posted on November 9, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

I am so sick and tired of younger guys giving me crap for not wanting to tell my age. I have news for these twenty-somethings: Guys don’t like to tell their age either when they’re nearing 50 so just you wait!!! We girls just start earlier.. as in 28. At that point I realized I was young enough to tell them but old enough to know better. I mean really, do these guys really want the truth? Because the truth can be disturbing. What they don’t realize is the “woman” they’re hitting on (me) is old enough to have a son their age if I had accidently gotten pregnant when I lost my virginity.

And no, that does not mean I was an eleven-year-old slut, it means that I am MUCH older than they are. No, I may not look it, but I am, so I AM NOT TELLING YOU MY AGE… now do you want to make out in my car like a couple of teenagers or what?

©2010

 

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Things That Make Them Go “Eeew!”

Posted on November 8, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

You know the song “Things that make you go Hmmm?” I have a habit of making people go “Eeew!” My problem is that my friends don’t say Eeew, because they get me; they have the same sense of humor. I suppose that’s why they’re my friends. But sometimes I’m with people I just met, and I forget to filter. For example (and yes, this just happened to me so the sting is still fresh): The other day one of my closest guy friends and I were out and he spent the night talking to a beautiful girl. When the restaurant we were in closed, a group of us went to a small bar. Now since you’re just meeting me, I should preface this story by telling you that I don’t drink, so this stuff just comes out naturally. The beautiful girl, another girl I’d just met, and myself went to the bathroom together, because we all know that we gals go in groups. So as we stood in a row washing our hands “beautiful girl” says to us, “I haven’t showered tonight and I’m not feeling fresh.”

What are you thinking now? Seriously, what is the first thing that just came to your mind and be honest!

Well, for me it was the Summers Eve commercial, but I couldn’t remember the brand name so I said to the two girls, “I was going to make a joke, but I can’t remember the name of the company that makes those douches. Can you?” They BOTH said no but that they knew what I was talking about. So as the other girl and I were trying to recall the name of Summer’s Eve, beautiful girl says, “well it doesn’t matter anyway because I don’t have a douche with me.” Well, thinking about my guy friend, and wanting to help him out and not let the feeling of “un-freshness” get between him getting “some” and not getting “some,” I reached for a Puffs Plus Tissue and said, “Just take one of these, put some soap on it, and go in a stall…”

Her shriek of horror disrupted everyone in the ladies room (which had about 30 stalls in it). She could not stop saying, “OMG! OMG! I can’t believe you went there! I’m not feeling fresh up here…” This is where she did a Madonna Vogue-like gesture around her face and hair.

Okay, where did she think I was going with the douche joke? And who the heck doesn’t feel fresh in their face and hair?!? Then she told me that she couldn’t look at me and raced her 5’11” body passed me stammering about how she couldn’t believe someone who didn’t know her just “went there.” For Pete’s sake! I was trying to help a sister out!  Is my brain crazy for going in that direction? I will use the argument that I am a product of the television generation before DVRs so I know A LOT of commercials. A girl tells me she has that “not so fresh feeling” I go straight to Summer’s Eve. And to add to my defense she did say that she didn’t have a douche with her. I’d say in the future I’ll keep my mouth shut, but I have a feeling you’re in for plenty more entries titled “Things That Make Them Go Eeew!”

© 2010

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Bubble Bath Blues

Posted on November 7, 2010 by romanticcomedygirl

I’m at the Wynn Hotel in Vegas. Yes, a guy is sharing my room. No, he is not my boyfriend. And in case you don’t believe me (as most people don’t) I can prove it… I’m in a bubble bath, alone,  at 7am and he did not sleep here last night. But that’s not what I want to discuss. Can we please talk about this bathtub? I LOVE taking baths, so when I saw the massive tub in this room I was counting the minutes until I was going to use the entire bottle of BAM BU (with a – over the “U”, very fancy) shower gel, fill the tub to the top, and sink into a relaxing Zen state.

Nope.  Didn’t quite happen that way. Yes, I used the whole bottle of shower gel. Yes, I surrounded myself in sudsy bubbles. Yes, the water was just the right temperature. BUT, I’m 5’4″ and 109 pounds. The tub was so big it was like being on a slip n slide. I even stuffed a towel behind me in the hopes that my toes would reach the other side and be able to stabilize me. No luck. After nearly drowning twice, I wound up turning 90 degrees. Oh, I was stable now with my legs scrunched up and my back sticking out of the water. This was so unfair! The tub was mocking me for bathing alone. I’m thinking of inventing two things for the tub: 1. a length adjuster that you can put at one end and extend to fit your size.  2. a contraption that sits under your boobs and armpits then comes up and over the sides of the tub to hold your body up, should you get so relaxed and fall asleep that it prevents you from drowning.

Or… I could just find a man to share this tub with.

© 2010

Posted in Chick lit, romantic comedy | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment